New Study: Interval Training Helps Reduce Belly Fat
By Craig Ballantyne
Conventional wisdom says you can't spot-reduce belly fat. But new wisdom says you can lose that spare tire -- and not the way you think. Forget crunches. A new report says that "high intensity intermittent exercise may result in greater fat loss in the abdomen." In other words, interval training burns stomach fat first, over all other sources of fat on the body.
Professor Steve Boucher, the study's Australian co-author, and his colleagues put young women into two groups:
Group 1: Three workouts per week of 20 minutes of intervals (8 second sprint followed by 12 second recovery) for 15 weeks
Group 2: Three cardio workouts per week of 40 minutes for 15 weeks
Group 1, the interval group, lost a significant amount of abdominal fat.
So why do the intervals work so well?
Boucher believes it has something to do with the increase in hormones called catecholamines (adrenaline is a catecholamine hormone). These increase after intervals, but not after slow cardio. Catecholamines are a fat-burning hormone and there are a lot of catecholamine receptors in belly fat. He thinks the elevated fat-burning hormones from intervals ends up leading to targeted belly fat burning.
Interesting theory. We'll see if more research is able to confirm that hypothesis. Regardless, it's great to see studies showing intervals to be more effective for losing stomach fat than slow cardio workouts.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Best practice for wealth learn and priactice a 'financially valued" skill
He saw my point. I gave him a quick rundown of an idea we've talked about often in ETR - that the best way to make good money and keep making good money (i.e., keep your job) is to learn and practice a "financially valued" skill. It doesn't matter what skill you choose to develop, so long as it's one that will make it easy for you to eventually charge $100 an hour for your time.
The best way to get rich is to own your own business and invest in real estate. But the best way to avoid penury - now and, more important, when you reach "retirement" age - is to be very good at doing something that people will pay good money for.
A hundred dollars an hour is a good minimum number to shoot for. If you worked 50 hours a week at that rate, you'd be making $250,000 a year. Yes, you can make a lot more money than a quarter million bucks a year if you have your own successful business, but in terms of having a reliably high income (one you can earn regardless of how old you are or where you choose to live), having a financially valued skill is the way to go. You can even retire and work on a very-part-time basis... and still have a good income to live on.
Here's a short list of financially valued skills:
knowing how to market
being able to sell
being capable of creating a positive bottom line Those are the premium skills, the ones that - combined with being able to work well with people - will put you at the very top of almost any organization and assure your employment for pretty much as long as you want it.
But there are other, less-valued but still valuable, skills - and I reminded Bruce that he has one: developing information technology.
"That's a liability," he told me. "All the good tech jobs are in India. First, the entry-level jobs - the data-input and basic programming jobs - went. Then, the middle-level jobs. Now, even jobs at the top level are over there. American technicians just can't compete."
I thought of my eldest son, who, despite my warnings, got his degree in computer programming. He recently got his first real job, working for a company in L.A. that does special effects for movies. And I'm sure his bosses love him. But he's a technician - and, from a business point of view, a technician is a necessary expense, not a vital asset.
"Even the most qualified engineer," I told my son, "is viewed by the CEO and shareholders as a cost of doing business. He may be providing a very necessary function in a highly skilled way - but until he can find a way to position himself on the profit side of the ledger, there will always be the risk that he can be replaced by someone cheaper."
The situation that Bruce is in right now proves that point.
Bruce is too strong, too smart, too gifted a person not to be able to find a good job. But in order to do that, he's going to have to make some changes. Instead of continuing to search for a high-paying position where he can "work with people," he's going to have to perfect (maybe even learn from scratch) a financially valued skill. When he sends out his next resume or has his next interview, he'll have to be able to answer one or several of the following questions:
"How will you increase our revenues?"
"How will you reduce our costs?"
"How will you expand our customer base?"
"How will you increase our profits?"
Bruce can make the transition. I hope he does.
The best way to get rich is to own your own business and invest in real estate. But the best way to avoid penury - now and, more important, when you reach "retirement" age - is to be very good at doing something that people will pay good money for.
A hundred dollars an hour is a good minimum number to shoot for. If you worked 50 hours a week at that rate, you'd be making $250,000 a year. Yes, you can make a lot more money than a quarter million bucks a year if you have your own successful business, but in terms of having a reliably high income (one you can earn regardless of how old you are or where you choose to live), having a financially valued skill is the way to go. You can even retire and work on a very-part-time basis... and still have a good income to live on.
Here's a short list of financially valued skills:
knowing how to market
being able to sell
being capable of creating a positive bottom line Those are the premium skills, the ones that - combined with being able to work well with people - will put you at the very top of almost any organization and assure your employment for pretty much as long as you want it.
But there are other, less-valued but still valuable, skills - and I reminded Bruce that he has one: developing information technology.
"That's a liability," he told me. "All the good tech jobs are in India. First, the entry-level jobs - the data-input and basic programming jobs - went. Then, the middle-level jobs. Now, even jobs at the top level are over there. American technicians just can't compete."
I thought of my eldest son, who, despite my warnings, got his degree in computer programming. He recently got his first real job, working for a company in L.A. that does special effects for movies. And I'm sure his bosses love him. But he's a technician - and, from a business point of view, a technician is a necessary expense, not a vital asset.
"Even the most qualified engineer," I told my son, "is viewed by the CEO and shareholders as a cost of doing business. He may be providing a very necessary function in a highly skilled way - but until he can find a way to position himself on the profit side of the ledger, there will always be the risk that he can be replaced by someone cheaper."
The situation that Bruce is in right now proves that point.
Bruce is too strong, too smart, too gifted a person not to be able to find a good job. But in order to do that, he's going to have to make some changes. Instead of continuing to search for a high-paying position where he can "work with people," he's going to have to perfect (maybe even learn from scratch) a financially valued skill. When he sends out his next resume or has his next interview, he'll have to be able to answer one or several of the following questions:
"How will you increase our revenues?"
"How will you reduce our costs?"
"How will you expand our customer base?"
"How will you increase our profits?"
Bruce can make the transition. I hope he does.
Salary rankings for the US overall, top 1% has as much wealth as bottom 30%
Where Do You Stand on America's Wealth Spectrum?
by Lee Eisenberg
Thursday, November 1, 2007
The best way to give people a sense of where they stand is to lay out some data. Every three years the Federal Reserve Board conducts a national survey that tracks the financial health of American households.
The Fed slices and dices this stuff with the vigor of an Iron Chef; the result is a rich, if dry, array of offerings on household net worth, pension and income levels, plus other demographic side dishes.
Whenever I slip these tidbits into cocktail party chatter, people are surprised to realize how little money it takes to win a gold star from the Fed. If you and yours are bringing in $40,000 a year, you're doing better than half the households in America.
Or, as a Washington think tank recently pointed out: If you're a teacher married to a policeman, your combined household income puts you in the top 25 percent of all households in the nation.
Below you'll find the average income picture sliced into income levels. Think of this chart as a parking ramp. If your household income is $170,000, you're among the nation's top 10 percent wage earners and get to park on the top floor.
Anything in six figures means you're in the top 20 percent and get to park on the floor right below.
Annual income parking ramp
Income level (percentile) Median income (rounded)
Level VI (90 to 100) $170,000
Level V (80 to 89.9) $99,000
Level IV (60 to 79.9) $65,000
Level III (40 to 59.9) $40,000
Level II (20 to 39.9) $24,000
Level I (less than 20) $10,000
Source: Before-Tax Family Income, 2001 Federal Reserve Board Survey
So does making $170,000 a year make a person rich? Last year a plurality of respondents (29 percent) in a survey by The New York Times said that "rich" was making between $100,000 and $200,000 a year. Unfortunately, the survey didn't break out how many people in that salary range considered themselves rich. If the people I talk to are any indication, very few do.
Of course, income is only one part of the equation defining where you stand. Net worth is more telling. Net worth, as every financially precocious schoolchild knows, is the sum of one's assets -- home equity, investments, savings accounts, retirement funds, cars, furnishings and such things as jewelry, furs, wine collection, old baseball cards -- minus all outstanding liabilities such as mortgage balance, revolving and credit card debt, college loans and so on. Across all households, the national median net worth is $86,000. Half of your fellow citizens have more than that, half less. As you see, there's a massive disparity between the haves and have-nots.
Net worth parking ramp
Net worth (percentile) Median net worth (rounded)
Level VI (90 to 100) $833,600
Level V (80 to 89.9) $263,100
Level IV (60 to 79.9) $141,500
Level III (40 to 59.9) $62,500
Level II (20 to 39.9) $37,200
Level I (less than 20) $7,900
Source: Family Net Worth, 2001 Federal Reserve Board Survey
We live in a country that once celebrated itself as egalitarian, yet 1 percent of the population -- nearly 3 million people -- currently has as much money as the 100 million people at the bottom of the ramp.
Yet when I ask those at the top of the ramp how they feel about the future, whether their fortunate place on the ramp gives them a measure of confidence about it, they shake their heads. They give me a look that says, "What planet do you park on?"
by Lee Eisenberg
Thursday, November 1, 2007
The best way to give people a sense of where they stand is to lay out some data. Every three years the Federal Reserve Board conducts a national survey that tracks the financial health of American households.
The Fed slices and dices this stuff with the vigor of an Iron Chef; the result is a rich, if dry, array of offerings on household net worth, pension and income levels, plus other demographic side dishes.
Whenever I slip these tidbits into cocktail party chatter, people are surprised to realize how little money it takes to win a gold star from the Fed. If you and yours are bringing in $40,000 a year, you're doing better than half the households in America.
Or, as a Washington think tank recently pointed out: If you're a teacher married to a policeman, your combined household income puts you in the top 25 percent of all households in the nation.
Below you'll find the average income picture sliced into income levels. Think of this chart as a parking ramp. If your household income is $170,000, you're among the nation's top 10 percent wage earners and get to park on the top floor.
Anything in six figures means you're in the top 20 percent and get to park on the floor right below.
Annual income parking ramp
Income level (percentile) Median income (rounded)
Level VI (90 to 100) $170,000
Level V (80 to 89.9) $99,000
Level IV (60 to 79.9) $65,000
Level III (40 to 59.9) $40,000
Level II (20 to 39.9) $24,000
Level I (less than 20) $10,000
Source: Before-Tax Family Income, 2001 Federal Reserve Board Survey
So does making $170,000 a year make a person rich? Last year a plurality of respondents (29 percent) in a survey by The New York Times said that "rich" was making between $100,000 and $200,000 a year. Unfortunately, the survey didn't break out how many people in that salary range considered themselves rich. If the people I talk to are any indication, very few do.
Of course, income is only one part of the equation defining where you stand. Net worth is more telling. Net worth, as every financially precocious schoolchild knows, is the sum of one's assets -- home equity, investments, savings accounts, retirement funds, cars, furnishings and such things as jewelry, furs, wine collection, old baseball cards -- minus all outstanding liabilities such as mortgage balance, revolving and credit card debt, college loans and so on. Across all households, the national median net worth is $86,000. Half of your fellow citizens have more than that, half less. As you see, there's a massive disparity between the haves and have-nots.
Net worth parking ramp
Net worth (percentile) Median net worth (rounded)
Level VI (90 to 100) $833,600
Level V (80 to 89.9) $263,100
Level IV (60 to 79.9) $141,500
Level III (40 to 59.9) $62,500
Level II (20 to 39.9) $37,200
Level I (less than 20) $7,900
Source: Family Net Worth, 2001 Federal Reserve Board Survey
We live in a country that once celebrated itself as egalitarian, yet 1 percent of the population -- nearly 3 million people -- currently has as much money as the 100 million people at the bottom of the ramp.
Yet when I ask those at the top of the ramp how they feel about the future, whether their fortunate place on the ramp gives them a measure of confidence about it, they shake their heads. They give me a look that says, "What planet do you park on?"
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Seven Secrets of Inspiring Leaders
The Seven Secrets of Inspiring Leaders By Carmine Gallo
Thu Oct 11, 8:08 AM ET
American business professionals are uninspired. Only 10% of employees look forward to going to work and most point to a lack of leadership as the reason why, according to a recent Maritz Research poll. But it doesn't have to be that way. All business leaders have the power to inspire, motivate, and positively influence the people in their professional lives.
For the past year, I have been interviewing renowned leaders, entrepreneurs, and educators who have an extraordinary ability to sell their vision, values, and themselves. I was researching their communications secrets for my new book, Fire Them Up. What I found were seven techniques that you can easily adopt in your own professional communications with your employees, clients, and investors.
1. Demonstrate enthusiasm -- constantly. Inspiring leaders have an abundance of passion for what they do. You cannot inspire unless you're inspired yourself. Period. Passion is something I can't teach. You either have passion for your message or you don't. Once you discover your passion, make sure it's apparent to everyone within your professional circle. Richard Tait sketched an idea on a napkin during a cross-country flight, an idea to bring joyful moments to families and friends. His enthusiasm was so infectious that he convinced partners, employees, and investors to join him. He created a toy and game company called Cranium. Walk into its Seattle headquarters and you are hit with a wave of fun, excitement, and engagement the likes of which is rarely seen in corporate life. It all started with one man's passion.
2. Articulate a compelling course of action. Inspiring leaders craft and deliver a specific, consistent, and memorable vision. A goal such as "we intend to double our sales by this time next year," is not inspiring. Neither is a long, convoluted mission statement destined to be tucked away and forgotten in a desk somewhere. A vision is a short (usually 10 words or less), vivid description of what the world will look like if your product or service succeeds. Microsoft's (NasdaqGS:MSFT - News) Steve Ballmer once said that shortly after he joined the company, he was having second thoughts. Bill Gates and Gates' father took Ballmer out to dinner and said he had it all wrong. They said Ballmer saw his role as that of a bean counter for a startup. They had a vision of putting a computer on every desk, in every home. That vision -- a computer on every desk, in every home -- remains consistent to this day. The power of a vision set everything in motion.
3. Sell the benefit. Always remember, it's not about you, it's about them. In my first class at Northwestern's Medill School of Journalism, I was taught to answer the question, "Why should my readers care?" That's the same thing you need to ask yourself constantly throughout a presentation, meeting, pitch, or any situation where persuasion takes place. Your listeners are asking themselves, what's in this for me? Answer it. Don't make them guess.
4. Tell more stories. Inspiring leaders tell memorable stories. Few business leaders appreciate the power of stories to connect with their audiences. A few weeks ago I was working with one of the largest producers of organic food in the country. I can't recall most, if any, of the data they used to prove organic is better. But I remember a story a farmer told. He said when he worked for a conventional grower, his kids could not hug him at the end of the day when he got home. His clothes had to be removed and disinfected. Now, his kids can hug him as soon as he walks off the field. No amount of data can replace that story. And now guess what I think about when I see the organic section in my local grocery store? You got it. The farmer's story. Stories connect with people on an emotional level. Tell more of them.
5. Invite participation. Inspiring leaders bring employees, customers, and colleagues into the process of building the company or service. This is especially important when trying to motivate young people. The command and control way of managing is over. Instead, today's managers solicit input, listen for feedback, and actively incorporate what they hear. Employees want more than a paycheck. They want to know that their work is adding up to something meaningful.
6. Reinforce an optimistic outlook. Inspiring leaders speak of a better future. Robert Noyce, the co-founder of Intel INTC, said, "Optimism is an essential ingredient of innovation. How else can the individual favor change over security?" Extraordinary leaders throughout history have been more optimistic than the average person. Winston Churchill exuded hope and confidence in the darkest days of World War II. Colin Powell said that optimism was the secret behind Ronald Reagan's charisma. Powell also said that optimism is a force multiplier, meaning it has a ripple effect throughout an organization. Speak in positive, optimistic language. Be a beacon of hope.
7. Encourage potential. Inspiring leaders praise people and invest in them emotionally. Richard Branson has said that when you praise people they flourish; criticize them and they shrivel up. Praise is the easiest way to connect with people. When people receive genuine praise, their doubt diminishes and their spirits soar. Encourage people and they'll walk through walls for you.
By inspiring your listeners, you become the kind of person people want to be around. Customers will want to do business with you, employees will want to work with you, and investors will want to back you. It all starts with mastering the language of motivation.
Thu Oct 11, 8:08 AM ET
American business professionals are uninspired. Only 10% of employees look forward to going to work and most point to a lack of leadership as the reason why, according to a recent Maritz Research poll. But it doesn't have to be that way. All business leaders have the power to inspire, motivate, and positively influence the people in their professional lives.
For the past year, I have been interviewing renowned leaders, entrepreneurs, and educators who have an extraordinary ability to sell their vision, values, and themselves. I was researching their communications secrets for my new book, Fire Them Up. What I found were seven techniques that you can easily adopt in your own professional communications with your employees, clients, and investors.
1. Demonstrate enthusiasm -- constantly. Inspiring leaders have an abundance of passion for what they do. You cannot inspire unless you're inspired yourself. Period. Passion is something I can't teach. You either have passion for your message or you don't. Once you discover your passion, make sure it's apparent to everyone within your professional circle. Richard Tait sketched an idea on a napkin during a cross-country flight, an idea to bring joyful moments to families and friends. His enthusiasm was so infectious that he convinced partners, employees, and investors to join him. He created a toy and game company called Cranium. Walk into its Seattle headquarters and you are hit with a wave of fun, excitement, and engagement the likes of which is rarely seen in corporate life. It all started with one man's passion.
2. Articulate a compelling course of action. Inspiring leaders craft and deliver a specific, consistent, and memorable vision. A goal such as "we intend to double our sales by this time next year," is not inspiring. Neither is a long, convoluted mission statement destined to be tucked away and forgotten in a desk somewhere. A vision is a short (usually 10 words or less), vivid description of what the world will look like if your product or service succeeds. Microsoft's (NasdaqGS:MSFT - News) Steve Ballmer once said that shortly after he joined the company, he was having second thoughts. Bill Gates and Gates' father took Ballmer out to dinner and said he had it all wrong. They said Ballmer saw his role as that of a bean counter for a startup. They had a vision of putting a computer on every desk, in every home. That vision -- a computer on every desk, in every home -- remains consistent to this day. The power of a vision set everything in motion.
3. Sell the benefit. Always remember, it's not about you, it's about them. In my first class at Northwestern's Medill School of Journalism, I was taught to answer the question, "Why should my readers care?" That's the same thing you need to ask yourself constantly throughout a presentation, meeting, pitch, or any situation where persuasion takes place. Your listeners are asking themselves, what's in this for me? Answer it. Don't make them guess.
4. Tell more stories. Inspiring leaders tell memorable stories. Few business leaders appreciate the power of stories to connect with their audiences. A few weeks ago I was working with one of the largest producers of organic food in the country. I can't recall most, if any, of the data they used to prove organic is better. But I remember a story a farmer told. He said when he worked for a conventional grower, his kids could not hug him at the end of the day when he got home. His clothes had to be removed and disinfected. Now, his kids can hug him as soon as he walks off the field. No amount of data can replace that story. And now guess what I think about when I see the organic section in my local grocery store? You got it. The farmer's story. Stories connect with people on an emotional level. Tell more of them.
5. Invite participation. Inspiring leaders bring employees, customers, and colleagues into the process of building the company or service. This is especially important when trying to motivate young people. The command and control way of managing is over. Instead, today's managers solicit input, listen for feedback, and actively incorporate what they hear. Employees want more than a paycheck. They want to know that their work is adding up to something meaningful.
6. Reinforce an optimistic outlook. Inspiring leaders speak of a better future. Robert Noyce, the co-founder of Intel INTC, said, "Optimism is an essential ingredient of innovation. How else can the individual favor change over security?" Extraordinary leaders throughout history have been more optimistic than the average person. Winston Churchill exuded hope and confidence in the darkest days of World War II. Colin Powell said that optimism was the secret behind Ronald Reagan's charisma. Powell also said that optimism is a force multiplier, meaning it has a ripple effect throughout an organization. Speak in positive, optimistic language. Be a beacon of hope.
7. Encourage potential. Inspiring leaders praise people and invest in them emotionally. Richard Branson has said that when you praise people they flourish; criticize them and they shrivel up. Praise is the easiest way to connect with people. When people receive genuine praise, their doubt diminishes and their spirits soar. Encourage people and they'll walk through walls for you.
By inspiring your listeners, you become the kind of person people want to be around. Customers will want to do business with you, employees will want to work with you, and investors will want to back you. It all starts with mastering the language of motivation.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Healthy diet, walk after big meals
Light exercise after a heavy meal is a very smart idea.
Consume naturally occurring fats, balanced with protein and vegetables. Go very light on the starches, especially if you're consuming a higher-fat meal.
When eating starch, be sure to consume protein and veggies to slow the absorption of sugar.
Consume naturally occurring fats, balanced with protein and vegetables. Go very light on the starches, especially if you're consuming a higher-fat meal.
When eating starch, be sure to consume protein and veggies to slow the absorption of sugar.
Friday, September 21, 2007
A scientific Approach to Emotional Health - interesting contrast to the "attitude is all camp"
A Scientific Measure of Emotional Values
By Dr. Douglas Ramm
A little more than 10 years ago, psychologists who work in American universities began offering advice on how to enhance emotional well-being. Virtually all of these professors maintain that the most reliable method for increasing happiness, contentment and satisfaction with life consists of making changes in the way we look at the world. They believe that cultivating a positive attitude, developing a sense of gratitude and maintaining a sense of optimism are all we can do to achieve and maintain emotional well-being.
Nonsense. Those who attempt to enhance their emotional well-being with this approach will end up sadly disappointed. It will not get them where they want to go.
As a practicing clinical psychologist, I am convinced that emotions are always a matter of how we are affected by the things, people and events we encounter in daily life. Looking at what the ivory tower psychologists were telling the public, I saw clearly that real science was needed to discover which things, interpersonal events and conditions of daily life actually contribute to emotional well-being.
I conducted rigorous, scientific research to discover which of these actually make a difference in our overall emotional well-being. It began with a review of what scores of researchers have discovered over nearly 50 years of research into happiness, contentment and satisfaction with life. This research revealed that there are a number of things that are correlated with subjective reports of emotional well-being, irrespective of the gender, race or ethnicity of the person making that report. Since these have natural, intrinsic or inherent worth, we refer to these things as values.
Next, I designed a method to determine which of these values actually have an impact on whether a person is happy, content and satisfied with life. The results of my research revealed that there are 10 values that actually make a difference in terms of whether and to what degree an individual is able to find and hold onto emotional well-being.
Since the following values are the ones that determine real and lasting emotional well-being, I call them the 10 Core Values:
1. Meaningful material objects are the necessities of life, as well as those tangible entities that contribute to a person's contentment and satisfaction in living.
2. Money is cash, credit, stocks, bonds, coupons, insurance benefits or any other object that can be used as a medium of exchange.
3. Affirmation is the experience of being recognized as an adequate, competent, acceptable, desirable and/or lovable human being.
4. Companionship is the experience we have when we share concerns, interests and activities with people whose company we enjoy.
5. Intimacy occurs in relationships that already involve affirmation and companionship. They are where we can also share thoughts, emotions and experiences that could be embarrassing or lead to ridicule or rejection, but the other person in the relationship continues to remain affirming.
6. Health is the state of physical and mental well-being, which is characterized by the absence of disease, disability and pain.
7. A rewarding occupation is one where we enjoy the tasks involved, are competent at performing those tasks and experience a sense of accomplishment from a job well done.
8. Rewarding recreation is a sense of renewal obtained from an activity pursued for the mere joy or pleasure it provides and which allows us to return to the tasks of living refreshed and renewed.
9. Freedom is the ability to do what we want to do when we want to do it. It includes liberty as well as the ability to think freely, to express our own ideas and to initiate courses of action without the fear that engaging in personally fulfilling behavior will prompt some unjustified verbal or physical aggression in response.
10. Security is physical safety as well as confidence in our ability to obtain or maintain the other nine core values.
A self test is available at http://www.theformulaforhappiness.com/gels.shtml
By Dr. Douglas Ramm
A little more than 10 years ago, psychologists who work in American universities began offering advice on how to enhance emotional well-being. Virtually all of these professors maintain that the most reliable method for increasing happiness, contentment and satisfaction with life consists of making changes in the way we look at the world. They believe that cultivating a positive attitude, developing a sense of gratitude and maintaining a sense of optimism are all we can do to achieve and maintain emotional well-being.
Nonsense. Those who attempt to enhance their emotional well-being with this approach will end up sadly disappointed. It will not get them where they want to go.
As a practicing clinical psychologist, I am convinced that emotions are always a matter of how we are affected by the things, people and events we encounter in daily life. Looking at what the ivory tower psychologists were telling the public, I saw clearly that real science was needed to discover which things, interpersonal events and conditions of daily life actually contribute to emotional well-being.
I conducted rigorous, scientific research to discover which of these actually make a difference in our overall emotional well-being. It began with a review of what scores of researchers have discovered over nearly 50 years of research into happiness, contentment and satisfaction with life. This research revealed that there are a number of things that are correlated with subjective reports of emotional well-being, irrespective of the gender, race or ethnicity of the person making that report. Since these have natural, intrinsic or inherent worth, we refer to these things as values.
Next, I designed a method to determine which of these values actually have an impact on whether a person is happy, content and satisfied with life. The results of my research revealed that there are 10 values that actually make a difference in terms of whether and to what degree an individual is able to find and hold onto emotional well-being.
Since the following values are the ones that determine real and lasting emotional well-being, I call them the 10 Core Values:
1. Meaningful material objects are the necessities of life, as well as those tangible entities that contribute to a person's contentment and satisfaction in living.
2. Money is cash, credit, stocks, bonds, coupons, insurance benefits or any other object that can be used as a medium of exchange.
3. Affirmation is the experience of being recognized as an adequate, competent, acceptable, desirable and/or lovable human being.
4. Companionship is the experience we have when we share concerns, interests and activities with people whose company we enjoy.
5. Intimacy occurs in relationships that already involve affirmation and companionship. They are where we can also share thoughts, emotions and experiences that could be embarrassing or lead to ridicule or rejection, but the other person in the relationship continues to remain affirming.
6. Health is the state of physical and mental well-being, which is characterized by the absence of disease, disability and pain.
7. A rewarding occupation is one where we enjoy the tasks involved, are competent at performing those tasks and experience a sense of accomplishment from a job well done.
8. Rewarding recreation is a sense of renewal obtained from an activity pursued for the mere joy or pleasure it provides and which allows us to return to the tasks of living refreshed and renewed.
9. Freedom is the ability to do what we want to do when we want to do it. It includes liberty as well as the ability to think freely, to express our own ideas and to initiate courses of action without the fear that engaging in personally fulfilling behavior will prompt some unjustified verbal or physical aggression in response.
10. Security is physical safety as well as confidence in our ability to obtain or maintain the other nine core values.
A self test is available at http://www.theformulaforhappiness.com/gels.shtml
Thursday, September 20, 2007
The lists on Relationships!
On Love and Relationships
The ten types of relationship that won't work:
1. You care about your partner more than he does about you.
2. Your partner cares more about you than you do about him.
3. You are in love with your partner's potential.
4. You are on a rescue mission.
5. You look up to your partner as a role model.
6. You are infatuated with your partner for external reasons.
7. You have partial compatibility.
8. You choose a partner in order to be rebellious.
9. You choose a partner as a reaction to your previous partner.
10. Your partner is unavailable.
The six BIGGEST mistakes we make in the beginning of a relationship:
1. We don't ask enough questions.
2. We ignore warning signs of potential problems.
3. We make premature compromises.
4. We give in to Lust Blindness.
5. We give in to material seduction.
6. We put Commitment Before Compatibility.
Seven Wrong Reasons to be in a Relationship:
1. Pressure (age, family, friends, etc.)
2. Loneliness and desperation
3. Sexual hunger
4. Distraction from your own life
5. To avoid growing up
6. Guilt
7. To fill up your emotional or spiritual emptiness.
The Lust into Love Formula
1. First, you feel powerful sexual chemistry with someone or, in raw terms,lust. 2. Next, you act on those urges and have sex with that person.
3. Then you experience some guilt or discomfort having been so sexually intimate with someone you aren't that emotionally connected with.
4. Finally you create a relationship with that person to legitimize your lust.
Five Realities about Love
1. Love is not enough to make a relationship work -it needs compatibility and it needs commitment.
2. It just takes a moment to experience infatuation, but true love takes time.
3. It is possible to experience true love with more than one person -there are many potential partners you could be happy with.
4. The right partner will fulfill many of your needs but not all of them.
5. Good sex has nothing to do with true love, but making love does.
Five Deadly Myths about Love
1. True love conquers all.
2. When it's really true love, you will know it the moment you meet the other person.
3. There is only one true love in the world who is right for you.
4. The perfect partner will fulfill you completely in every way.
5. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry with someone, it must be love.
Fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner:
1. Addictions.
2. Anger.
3. Victim consciousness.
4. Control freak
5. Sexual Dysfunction.
6. Hasn't grown up.
7. Emotionally unavailable.
8. Hasn't recovered from past relationships.
9. Emotional damage from childhood.
Here are seven compatibility time bombs that can destroy a relationship:
1. Significant age difference.
2. Different religious background.
3. Different social, ethnic, or educational background.
4. Toxic in-laws.
5. Toxic ex-spouse.
6. Toxic Stepchildren.
7. Long-distance relationships.
Six qualities to look for in a mate:
1. Commitment to personal growth.
2. Emotional openness
3. Integrity
4. Maturity and responsibility
5. High self-esteem.
6. Positive Attitude towards life
The ten types of relationship that won't work:
1. You care about your partner more than he does about you.
2. Your partner cares more about you than you do about him.
3. You are in love with your partner's potential.
4. You are on a rescue mission.
5. You look up to your partner as a role model.
6. You are infatuated with your partner for external reasons.
7. You have partial compatibility.
8. You choose a partner in order to be rebellious.
9. You choose a partner as a reaction to your previous partner.
10. Your partner is unavailable.
The six BIGGEST mistakes we make in the beginning of a relationship:
1. We don't ask enough questions.
2. We ignore warning signs of potential problems.
3. We make premature compromises.
4. We give in to Lust Blindness.
5. We give in to material seduction.
6. We put Commitment Before Compatibility.
Seven Wrong Reasons to be in a Relationship:
1. Pressure (age, family, friends, etc.)
2. Loneliness and desperation
3. Sexual hunger
4. Distraction from your own life
5. To avoid growing up
6. Guilt
7. To fill up your emotional or spiritual emptiness.
The Lust into Love Formula
1. First, you feel powerful sexual chemistry with someone or, in raw terms,lust. 2. Next, you act on those urges and have sex with that person.
3. Then you experience some guilt or discomfort having been so sexually intimate with someone you aren't that emotionally connected with.
4. Finally you create a relationship with that person to legitimize your lust.
Five Realities about Love
1. Love is not enough to make a relationship work -it needs compatibility and it needs commitment.
2. It just takes a moment to experience infatuation, but true love takes time.
3. It is possible to experience true love with more than one person -there are many potential partners you could be happy with.
4. The right partner will fulfill many of your needs but not all of them.
5. Good sex has nothing to do with true love, but making love does.
Five Deadly Myths about Love
1. True love conquers all.
2. When it's really true love, you will know it the moment you meet the other person.
3. There is only one true love in the world who is right for you.
4. The perfect partner will fulfill you completely in every way.
5. When you experience powerful sexual chemistry with someone, it must be love.
Fatal flaws to watch out for in a partner:
1. Addictions.
2. Anger.
3. Victim consciousness.
4. Control freak
5. Sexual Dysfunction.
6. Hasn't grown up.
7. Emotionally unavailable.
8. Hasn't recovered from past relationships.
9. Emotional damage from childhood.
Here are seven compatibility time bombs that can destroy a relationship:
1. Significant age difference.
2. Different religious background.
3. Different social, ethnic, or educational background.
4. Toxic in-laws.
5. Toxic ex-spouse.
6. Toxic Stepchildren.
7. Long-distance relationships.
Six qualities to look for in a mate:
1. Commitment to personal growth.
2. Emotional openness
3. Integrity
4. Maturity and responsibility
5. High self-esteem.
6. Positive Attitude towards life
Thursday, September 6, 2007
16 Favorite Rules of Thumb on Money
16 favorite money rules of thumb
Here they are, plain and simple. Follow these guidelines and your finances -- and nerves -- will be in pretty good shape.
By Liz Pulliam Weston
Sometimes, you just want an answer.
"Can I afford a new car?" "How much should I be saving for retirement?" "What's the best way to pay off debt?" "What's the right credit card for me?"
If you're a patient, detail-oriented type, you may be willing to sit still for an exhaustive lecture on any of the above subjects. If you're like most of us -- overworked, sleep deprived and in a hurry -- you'd rather skip the whole dreary "on the one hand this, on the other that" analysis.
So I've cut to the chase and compiled a list of my 16 favorite money rules of thumb.
These are, of course, just guidelines. By definition, rules of thumb aren't meant to be immutable laws or applicable in every situation. But hopefully these broad, easy-to-understand principals will at least give you a starting point for assessing what to do in your own financial situation.
Retirement, Part I: "Save 10% for basics, 15% for comfort, 20% to escape." This rule of thumb works pretty well if you start to save for retirement by your early 30s. Saving at least 10% of your income ensures you won't be eating pet food. Fifteen percent should get you a more comfortable living, while 20% gives you a shot at an early retirement (and yes, you get to count employer contributions as part of your percentage). Wait just a decade to start, though, and you'll need 15% for basics and 20% for comfort; an early retirement may not be in the cards. For a more customized estimate of how much you need to save, check out MSN Money's Retirement Planner.
Retirement, Part II: "Retirement money is for retirement; until then, keep your mitts off it." There's rarely a good reason to borrow against your retirement accounts, and almost never a reasonable excuse for cashing them out. Look elsewhere to find money to pay your debts or buy a home. Let your retirement money keep working for you undisturbed. Someday, you'll be glad you did.
Student loans: "Your total borrowing shouldn't exceed what you expect to make your first year out of school." Many graduates have learned to their chagrin that student lenders will gladly loan you far more money than you can comfortably repay. Students and parents need to put their own limits on how deeply they go into debt, or they could face a literal lifetime of student-loan payments. Read "How much college debt is too much?" for more details.
College savings: "Saving for retirement is more important, but try to put at least $25 a month per kid in a college savings plan." Your child can get student loans, but no one will lend you money for retirement. That's why retirement comes first. But contributing even a small amount each month will help reduce the amount of debt your child eventually incurs. Thanks to recent tax law changes and reductions in fees, 529 college-savings plans have emerged as the best way for most parents to save. To learn more, read "How Uncle Sam wants you to save for college."
Cars, Part I: "Buy used and drive it for at least 10 years." This one rule of thumb easily could save you tens of thousands of dollars over your lifetime compared with what you would pay buying cars new and owning them just five years. Not only will you buy half as many cars, but you'll avoid the 20% or so loss to depreciation that happens as soon as you drive a new car off the lot. Today's cars are better built and will last longer than ever before, so buying used isn't the gamble it used to be.
Cars, Part II: "If you must borrow to buy a car, follow the 20/4/10 rule." Which means: Make a 20% down payment, don't borrow for more than four years and don't agree to a monthly payment that's more than 10% of your income -- or 8% if you plan to buy a home in the next few years. A substantial down payment ensures you'll have equity in your car when you drive off the lot -- which is important, since owing more on your car than its worth can leave you financially vulnerable if the vehicle is totaled or stolen. (Read "The real reason you're broke" and "Close the gap in your car insurance" for more details.) Limiting the loan term and monthly payment will keep you from overspending.
Cars, Part III: "To compute and compare the real monthly cost to buy, insure and operate a car, double the price tag and divide by 60." You can get more precise figures about how much a car will cost over five years by using Edmunds.com's "True Cost to Own" calculator. But this rule of thumb will help you determine if that car you think is affordable actually will be once all costs are factored in.
Credit cards: "If you carry a balance, look for the lowest rate. If you don't, get rewards at least equal to 1.5% of what you spend." Your primary goal if you carry credit card balances should be paying them off as quickly as possible. That means avoiding reward cards, which tend to have higher interest rates, in favor of the lowest-rate card for which you qualify, given your credit history. But if you already pay off your balances in full every month, you should look for cards that give you cash back or reward equal to 1.5% or more of your spending (read "People who charge everything" for more details). Sites like CardRatings.com and Bankrate.com can help you sort through the offers.
Debt repayment: "Pay off maxed-out cards first." When paying down credit card debt, the argument used to be between those who advocated paying the highest-rate card first (to save the most money) and those who argued for paying the smallest balance first (for a faster feeling of accomplishment that can motivate you to keep going). These days, though, you should first tackle any card that's close to its limit, since maxing out cards hurts your credit scores and can trigger penalty rates and fees.
Financial flexibility: "You need to be able to get your hands on cash or credit equal to three months' worth of expenses." Ideally, everybody would have at least three months' worth of expenses saved up in cash to serve as a cushion against job loss or other disasters. But saving that much money can take a while, as I wrote in "The $0 emergency fund," and many families have more important priorities to address first. Space on your credit cards and an unused home equity line of credit can be used as stand-ins for a real emergency fund until you can get around to saving the cash.
Insurance: "Cover yourself for catastrophic expenses, not the stuff you can cover out of pocket." Insurance isn't meant to cover the normal expenses of daily living, as I wrote in "3 costly myths about insurance." It's designed to bail you out when you face expenses so big they might otherwise wipe you out financially. That's why you want high limits on your policies -- but high deductibles, too.
Life insurance: "Those who need it typically need five to 10 times their income." Most people need to answer only two questions about insurance: "Do I need it?" and, if the answer is yes, "How much do I need?" You probably need life insurance if other people are financially dependent on you. You probably don't if you're single or your kids are grown. If you do need life insurance, the most important thing is to buy enough. Term or "pure" insurance is usually the way to go, since insurance that includes an investment component can be as much as 10 times more costly -- busting most families' budgets. The five- to 10-times-income rule is a pretty broad guideline, so you'll want to use MSN Money's Life Insurance Needs Estimator for a more precise fix.
Mortgages, Part I. "If you can't afford to buy the house using a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage, you can't afford the house." There are good reasons for choosing less traditional loans, but buying a house you couldn't otherwise afford isn't one of them. Too many people today are facing foreclosure because they used an adjustable or interest-only loan to buy too much house for their means. Read "Who's at most risk for foreclosure?" for the grim details.
Mortgages, Part II. "Fix the rate for at least as long as you plan to be in the home." Lenders, brokers or real-estate agents may tout the low, low payments of adjustable-rate loans, but sooner or later those payments will jump -- sometimes substantially. Protect your family and your investment by opting for a loan with a fixed-rate period that matches how long you expect to live there. If you're sure you'll move in five years, for example, a five-year hybrid is a good option. If you think you'll stay put for 10 years or more, you might just go for the certainty of the 30-year fixed.
Mortgages, Part III: "You almost certainly have better things to do with your money than prepay a low-rate, deductible mortgage." People get excited about how much interest they can save by making extra mortgage payments. What they don't realize is that they can get a much better return elsewhere. Don't consider prepaying your mortgage until you're taking full advantage of your retirement savings options and have paid off all your other debt. Read "Don't rush to pay off that mortgage" for more details.
Priorities: "Retirement, then credit cards, then emergency fund." Your highest priority, typically, should be saving for retirement, since every dollar you fail to save today could cost you $10 or more in lost retirement income. (The younger you are, the more you'll lose by not tucking money away now.) Also, opportunities to get a 401(k) match or to fund an IRA or Roth IRA are typically "use it or lose it" propositions. Dispatching credit card debt should be your next highest priority, since it's probably accumulating at double-digit interest rates and reducing your financial flexibility (see above). Finally, an emergency fund equal to three to six months' worth of expenses can be a bulwark against the inevitable setbacks life sends us -- job loss, disability, illness, accidents, natural disasters. Having a pile of cash in a high-rate savings account can also do wonders for reducing your money anxieties.
by Liz Pulliam Weston, Published June 28, 2007
Here they are, plain and simple. Follow these guidelines and your finances -- and nerves -- will be in pretty good shape.
By Liz Pulliam Weston
Sometimes, you just want an answer.
"Can I afford a new car?" "How much should I be saving for retirement?" "What's the best way to pay off debt?" "What's the right credit card for me?"
If you're a patient, detail-oriented type, you may be willing to sit still for an exhaustive lecture on any of the above subjects. If you're like most of us -- overworked, sleep deprived and in a hurry -- you'd rather skip the whole dreary "on the one hand this, on the other that" analysis.
So I've cut to the chase and compiled a list of my 16 favorite money rules of thumb.
These are, of course, just guidelines. By definition, rules of thumb aren't meant to be immutable laws or applicable in every situation. But hopefully these broad, easy-to-understand principals will at least give you a starting point for assessing what to do in your own financial situation.
Retirement, Part I: "Save 10% for basics, 15% for comfort, 20% to escape." This rule of thumb works pretty well if you start to save for retirement by your early 30s. Saving at least 10% of your income ensures you won't be eating pet food. Fifteen percent should get you a more comfortable living, while 20% gives you a shot at an early retirement (and yes, you get to count employer contributions as part of your percentage). Wait just a decade to start, though, and you'll need 15% for basics and 20% for comfort; an early retirement may not be in the cards. For a more customized estimate of how much you need to save, check out MSN Money's Retirement Planner.
Retirement, Part II: "Retirement money is for retirement; until then, keep your mitts off it." There's rarely a good reason to borrow against your retirement accounts, and almost never a reasonable excuse for cashing them out. Look elsewhere to find money to pay your debts or buy a home. Let your retirement money keep working for you undisturbed. Someday, you'll be glad you did.
Student loans: "Your total borrowing shouldn't exceed what you expect to make your first year out of school." Many graduates have learned to their chagrin that student lenders will gladly loan you far more money than you can comfortably repay. Students and parents need to put their own limits on how deeply they go into debt, or they could face a literal lifetime of student-loan payments. Read "How much college debt is too much?" for more details.
College savings: "Saving for retirement is more important, but try to put at least $25 a month per kid in a college savings plan." Your child can get student loans, but no one will lend you money for retirement. That's why retirement comes first. But contributing even a small amount each month will help reduce the amount of debt your child eventually incurs. Thanks to recent tax law changes and reductions in fees, 529 college-savings plans have emerged as the best way for most parents to save. To learn more, read "How Uncle Sam wants you to save for college."
Cars, Part I: "Buy used and drive it for at least 10 years." This one rule of thumb easily could save you tens of thousands of dollars over your lifetime compared with what you would pay buying cars new and owning them just five years. Not only will you buy half as many cars, but you'll avoid the 20% or so loss to depreciation that happens as soon as you drive a new car off the lot. Today's cars are better built and will last longer than ever before, so buying used isn't the gamble it used to be.
Cars, Part II: "If you must borrow to buy a car, follow the 20/4/10 rule." Which means: Make a 20% down payment, don't borrow for more than four years and don't agree to a monthly payment that's more than 10% of your income -- or 8% if you plan to buy a home in the next few years. A substantial down payment ensures you'll have equity in your car when you drive off the lot -- which is important, since owing more on your car than its worth can leave you financially vulnerable if the vehicle is totaled or stolen. (Read "The real reason you're broke" and "Close the gap in your car insurance" for more details.) Limiting the loan term and monthly payment will keep you from overspending.
Cars, Part III: "To compute and compare the real monthly cost to buy, insure and operate a car, double the price tag and divide by 60." You can get more precise figures about how much a car will cost over five years by using Edmunds.com's "True Cost to Own" calculator. But this rule of thumb will help you determine if that car you think is affordable actually will be once all costs are factored in.
Credit cards: "If you carry a balance, look for the lowest rate. If you don't, get rewards at least equal to 1.5% of what you spend." Your primary goal if you carry credit card balances should be paying them off as quickly as possible. That means avoiding reward cards, which tend to have higher interest rates, in favor of the lowest-rate card for which you qualify, given your credit history. But if you already pay off your balances in full every month, you should look for cards that give you cash back or reward equal to 1.5% or more of your spending (read "People who charge everything" for more details). Sites like CardRatings.com and Bankrate.com can help you sort through the offers.
Debt repayment: "Pay off maxed-out cards first." When paying down credit card debt, the argument used to be between those who advocated paying the highest-rate card first (to save the most money) and those who argued for paying the smallest balance first (for a faster feeling of accomplishment that can motivate you to keep going). These days, though, you should first tackle any card that's close to its limit, since maxing out cards hurts your credit scores and can trigger penalty rates and fees.
Financial flexibility: "You need to be able to get your hands on cash or credit equal to three months' worth of expenses." Ideally, everybody would have at least three months' worth of expenses saved up in cash to serve as a cushion against job loss or other disasters. But saving that much money can take a while, as I wrote in "The $0 emergency fund," and many families have more important priorities to address first. Space on your credit cards and an unused home equity line of credit can be used as stand-ins for a real emergency fund until you can get around to saving the cash.
Insurance: "Cover yourself for catastrophic expenses, not the stuff you can cover out of pocket." Insurance isn't meant to cover the normal expenses of daily living, as I wrote in "3 costly myths about insurance." It's designed to bail you out when you face expenses so big they might otherwise wipe you out financially. That's why you want high limits on your policies -- but high deductibles, too.
Life insurance: "Those who need it typically need five to 10 times their income." Most people need to answer only two questions about insurance: "Do I need it?" and, if the answer is yes, "How much do I need?" You probably need life insurance if other people are financially dependent on you. You probably don't if you're single or your kids are grown. If you do need life insurance, the most important thing is to buy enough. Term or "pure" insurance is usually the way to go, since insurance that includes an investment component can be as much as 10 times more costly -- busting most families' budgets. The five- to 10-times-income rule is a pretty broad guideline, so you'll want to use MSN Money's Life Insurance Needs Estimator for a more precise fix.
Mortgages, Part I. "If you can't afford to buy the house using a 30-year fixed-rate mortgage, you can't afford the house." There are good reasons for choosing less traditional loans, but buying a house you couldn't otherwise afford isn't one of them. Too many people today are facing foreclosure because they used an adjustable or interest-only loan to buy too much house for their means. Read "Who's at most risk for foreclosure?" for the grim details.
Mortgages, Part II. "Fix the rate for at least as long as you plan to be in the home." Lenders, brokers or real-estate agents may tout the low, low payments of adjustable-rate loans, but sooner or later those payments will jump -- sometimes substantially. Protect your family and your investment by opting for a loan with a fixed-rate period that matches how long you expect to live there. If you're sure you'll move in five years, for example, a five-year hybrid is a good option. If you think you'll stay put for 10 years or more, you might just go for the certainty of the 30-year fixed.
Mortgages, Part III: "You almost certainly have better things to do with your money than prepay a low-rate, deductible mortgage." People get excited about how much interest they can save by making extra mortgage payments. What they don't realize is that they can get a much better return elsewhere. Don't consider prepaying your mortgage until you're taking full advantage of your retirement savings options and have paid off all your other debt. Read "Don't rush to pay off that mortgage" for more details.
Priorities: "Retirement, then credit cards, then emergency fund." Your highest priority, typically, should be saving for retirement, since every dollar you fail to save today could cost you $10 or more in lost retirement income. (The younger you are, the more you'll lose by not tucking money away now.) Also, opportunities to get a 401(k) match or to fund an IRA or Roth IRA are typically "use it or lose it" propositions. Dispatching credit card debt should be your next highest priority, since it's probably accumulating at double-digit interest rates and reducing your financial flexibility (see above). Finally, an emergency fund equal to three to six months' worth of expenses can be a bulwark against the inevitable setbacks life sends us -- job loss, disability, illness, accidents, natural disasters. Having a pile of cash in a high-rate savings account can also do wonders for reducing your money anxieties.
by Liz Pulliam Weston, Published June 28, 2007
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Five Myths That Can Hurt Your Marriage
Many people have grown up with misconceptions of what it takes to make a marriage work. The following five incorrect beliefs can damage your marriage.
Myth 1: Your spouse should automatically know what you need and want.This is a prevalent myth among many spouses who believe if a partner really loves them, the partner should instinctively and intuitively know what their needs and wants are. And, of course, the partner should take immediate action to satisfy them. Hurt feelings and anger accumulates when the partner doesn’t figure out without being told what is expected of him (or her).
Traci was really tired when she finally got home late from a long day in the office. She was looking forward to spending some time with her husband Alex to get some sympathy, cuddling, and nurturing—and perhaps a back rub or a foot massage to help her sleep better. Alex, on the other hand, was clueless about Traci’s expectations and after greeting her, went back to watching a football game on TV.
Alex didn’t realize there was a problem. He thought that he was being helpful by giving Traci time and space to wind down after a long day. Traci found herself fuming as the rest of the evening progressed, but she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want Alex to spend time with her if he didn’t really want to. In her mind, whatever efforts he might make to nurture her wouldn’t count if he didn’t think of it himself.
Healthier Approach: Share your needs and wants directly with your spouse. Don’t make her (or him) second guess you or try to read your mind. Practice speaking up and saying “I’ve had a grueling day and really need a back rub. Could you give me one?”
Myth 2: If your spouse would change his (or her) behavior, you’d be happy and you could have a happy marriage.
This premise of this myth is that a spouse has to change before the partner can be happy and enjoy a happy marriage. It sounds simple enough. When the other person gets it together to become healthier and to change, then the marriage will improve by leaps and bounds.
In the meantime, the partner can only wait and hope that one day the spouse will “see the light.” This, of course, puts the partner in the role of helpless victim whose very happiness depends on what the spouse decides to do. His (or her) present and future happiness is in the hands of the spouse.
Buying into this myth lets the partner off the hot seat so that he (or she) doesn’t have to actually do anything except blame the spouse and wait to see if she changes. It’s a passive role that lets the partner sit back and avoid the challenge of working on himself (or herself).
Alex was getting irritated with Traci coming home late every evening from work. She said she had to get a big project done, but Alex couldn’t help thinking she could leave earlier if she really wanted to.
They used to meet at the gym after work to work out together, but now Alex found himself working out alone with increasing anger. He started blaming Traci for his unhappiness and for the stress her overtime at work was putting on the marriage. “If she would just come home on time, we could be happy again,” he thought.
Healthier Approach: Make a commitment to being happy whether or not your spouse ever changes. After all, you can’t give what you don’t have inside, so if you’re not happy yourself, you can’t create a happy marriage. Work on changing yourself to be the kind of partner you wish you had.
Myth 3: You should always put your spouse’s needs first to be a good partner.
The word “should” is often a red flag that indicates problems ahead. Who said you “should” always put your partner’s needs first? Someone who told you that you’d be considered selfish if you didn’t? Someone who wanted you to feel guilty if you didn’t accept their viewpoint?
In reality, it’s not healthy to always put other people’s needs before your own—no matter who the other person is. Doing so indicates a lack of respect for yourself, your time, your needs, and your goals.
You can value your own needs without being selfish or overbearing. Many times spouses can find a creative way to meet the needs of both of them if they spend some time brainstorming and problem-solving. But that won’t happen if one spouse automatically devalues her (or his) needs and goes along with whatever the partner proposes.
Traci always let Alex play golf with his friends on Saturdays while she stayed with their one-year-old daughter. Even though there were things she'd been wanting to do for months in what little free time she had, she always thought she was doing the right thing to suppress her own needs in favor of letting Alex enjoy himself.
Finally, after months of denying herself, she finally had enough. She blew up at Alex at a seemingly insignificant provocation. She accused him of being selfish in always playing golf while she stayed at home. Alex was baffled. Traci had never hinted that there was a problem.
Healthier Approach: Show respect for yourself by valuing yourself and your needs and preferences. Become more aware of when you treat your partner’s needs as more important than your own. Marriage is about compromise and both people getting their needs met at least part of the time. If you don’t value yourself, others won’t, either.
Myth 4: Your spouse should always contribute 50% to the marriage.
It sounds good in theory, but in reality marriage hardly ever turns out to be as neatly divided as this myth implies. Over time, there should be some balance of sorts, but the effort and time expended by each partner may never be completely equal.
There are many times when one spouse or the other carries most of the load or makes most of the effort in a marriage. Perhaps one spouse works out of town during the week or is clinically depressed. A spouse may be chronically ill, in physical pain, or busy pursuing a college degree. Or one spouse may handle the majority of the child care.
In these cases, the spouse who is keeping the marriage going may be contributing 80% to the marriage while the partner weighs in at only 20%. In time, the balance may shift in other ways to even out the load more, or the partners may exchange places. Instead of trying to keep everything equal on a daily basis, look at the overview and focus on the bigger picture.
Traci felt guilty when she decided to take college classes two nights a week after work. She knew this meant Alex had to carry a heavier load of chores, housework, and errands while she studied and attended classes. While Alex was supportive and didn’t complain, Traci knew he was giving more of himself to keep the marriage going than she was.
Five years later, Alex decided he wanted to change jobs and accept a more challenging, better-paying position that required him to travel during the week. All of a sudden, Traci found herself giving much more time and energy than Alex to keeping the marital relationship going. She remembered Alex’s support of her when she was pursuing her college degree and was glad to be able to give to him in return.
Healthier Approach: Think in terms of giving a 100% effort to your marriage when needed. If both you and your spouse are each giving 100%, then you’ll be in a positive place to handle the extra stress that problems and unforeseen challenges can bring.
Myth 5: Your goal is to have a peaceful marriage with as few disagreements as possible.
Over the years, I have heard many couples brag that they never fight and hardly ever argue. When this happens, I know that most likely one spouse or the other has been trying to keep accumulated anger, frustration, and resentment in an emotional “closet” with the door shut. This only works for so long and then the closet door bursts open and all the heightened emotions spill out to contaminate the marital relationship.
The goal is not to have a marriage with no arguments or disagreements. The goal is to find a way to disagree without being disagreeable or disrespectful to each other. When anger and resentments are buried in a relationship, the passion is also snuffed out in the emotional debris.
Some lukewarm marriages could benefit from more open disagreements, heated arguments, and strongly stated viewpoints and opinions. At least then the partners would be both engaged in the relationship instead of letting it silently die off.
Alex had been brought up in a family that avoided confrontations. He decided early on in his marriage to Traci that he didn’t want a marriage filled with conflict and arguments. When Traci felt strongly about something, Alex would generally just go along with her to keep the peace, even if he didn’t really want to.
He hesitated to rock the boat by disagreeing and almost always hid his true feelings from Traci. Their friends all remarked about how well Alex and Traci always got along, and Alex and Traci enjoyed telling others that they never argued or disagreed. The marriage was calm and peaceful, but the passion gradually faded away and left a feeling of blandness and emptiness behind.
Healthier Approach: Make a commitment to express your real opinions, needs, and preferences to your spouse. If you are afraid of your spouse’s anger, schedule a counseling session to discuss your concerns with a therapist present to mediate. You may need to develop a set of “fair fighting rules” with the help of the counselor in order to feel safe in speaking up at home.
Myth 1: Your spouse should automatically know what you need and want.This is a prevalent myth among many spouses who believe if a partner really loves them, the partner should instinctively and intuitively know what their needs and wants are. And, of course, the partner should take immediate action to satisfy them. Hurt feelings and anger accumulates when the partner doesn’t figure out without being told what is expected of him (or her).
Traci was really tired when she finally got home late from a long day in the office. She was looking forward to spending some time with her husband Alex to get some sympathy, cuddling, and nurturing—and perhaps a back rub or a foot massage to help her sleep better. Alex, on the other hand, was clueless about Traci’s expectations and after greeting her, went back to watching a football game on TV.
Alex didn’t realize there was a problem. He thought that he was being helpful by giving Traci time and space to wind down after a long day. Traci found herself fuming as the rest of the evening progressed, but she didn’t say anything because she didn’t want Alex to spend time with her if he didn’t really want to. In her mind, whatever efforts he might make to nurture her wouldn’t count if he didn’t think of it himself.
Healthier Approach: Share your needs and wants directly with your spouse. Don’t make her (or him) second guess you or try to read your mind. Practice speaking up and saying “I’ve had a grueling day and really need a back rub. Could you give me one?”
Myth 2: If your spouse would change his (or her) behavior, you’d be happy and you could have a happy marriage.
This premise of this myth is that a spouse has to change before the partner can be happy and enjoy a happy marriage. It sounds simple enough. When the other person gets it together to become healthier and to change, then the marriage will improve by leaps and bounds.
In the meantime, the partner can only wait and hope that one day the spouse will “see the light.” This, of course, puts the partner in the role of helpless victim whose very happiness depends on what the spouse decides to do. His (or her) present and future happiness is in the hands of the spouse.
Buying into this myth lets the partner off the hot seat so that he (or she) doesn’t have to actually do anything except blame the spouse and wait to see if she changes. It’s a passive role that lets the partner sit back and avoid the challenge of working on himself (or herself).
Alex was getting irritated with Traci coming home late every evening from work. She said she had to get a big project done, but Alex couldn’t help thinking she could leave earlier if she really wanted to.
They used to meet at the gym after work to work out together, but now Alex found himself working out alone with increasing anger. He started blaming Traci for his unhappiness and for the stress her overtime at work was putting on the marriage. “If she would just come home on time, we could be happy again,” he thought.
Healthier Approach: Make a commitment to being happy whether or not your spouse ever changes. After all, you can’t give what you don’t have inside, so if you’re not happy yourself, you can’t create a happy marriage. Work on changing yourself to be the kind of partner you wish you had.
Myth 3: You should always put your spouse’s needs first to be a good partner.
The word “should” is often a red flag that indicates problems ahead. Who said you “should” always put your partner’s needs first? Someone who told you that you’d be considered selfish if you didn’t? Someone who wanted you to feel guilty if you didn’t accept their viewpoint?
In reality, it’s not healthy to always put other people’s needs before your own—no matter who the other person is. Doing so indicates a lack of respect for yourself, your time, your needs, and your goals.
You can value your own needs without being selfish or overbearing. Many times spouses can find a creative way to meet the needs of both of them if they spend some time brainstorming and problem-solving. But that won’t happen if one spouse automatically devalues her (or his) needs and goes along with whatever the partner proposes.
Traci always let Alex play golf with his friends on Saturdays while she stayed with their one-year-old daughter. Even though there were things she'd been wanting to do for months in what little free time she had, she always thought she was doing the right thing to suppress her own needs in favor of letting Alex enjoy himself.
Finally, after months of denying herself, she finally had enough. She blew up at Alex at a seemingly insignificant provocation. She accused him of being selfish in always playing golf while she stayed at home. Alex was baffled. Traci had never hinted that there was a problem.
Healthier Approach: Show respect for yourself by valuing yourself and your needs and preferences. Become more aware of when you treat your partner’s needs as more important than your own. Marriage is about compromise and both people getting their needs met at least part of the time. If you don’t value yourself, others won’t, either.
Myth 4: Your spouse should always contribute 50% to the marriage.
It sounds good in theory, but in reality marriage hardly ever turns out to be as neatly divided as this myth implies. Over time, there should be some balance of sorts, but the effort and time expended by each partner may never be completely equal.
There are many times when one spouse or the other carries most of the load or makes most of the effort in a marriage. Perhaps one spouse works out of town during the week or is clinically depressed. A spouse may be chronically ill, in physical pain, or busy pursuing a college degree. Or one spouse may handle the majority of the child care.
In these cases, the spouse who is keeping the marriage going may be contributing 80% to the marriage while the partner weighs in at only 20%. In time, the balance may shift in other ways to even out the load more, or the partners may exchange places. Instead of trying to keep everything equal on a daily basis, look at the overview and focus on the bigger picture.
Traci felt guilty when she decided to take college classes two nights a week after work. She knew this meant Alex had to carry a heavier load of chores, housework, and errands while she studied and attended classes. While Alex was supportive and didn’t complain, Traci knew he was giving more of himself to keep the marriage going than she was.
Five years later, Alex decided he wanted to change jobs and accept a more challenging, better-paying position that required him to travel during the week. All of a sudden, Traci found herself giving much more time and energy than Alex to keeping the marital relationship going. She remembered Alex’s support of her when she was pursuing her college degree and was glad to be able to give to him in return.
Healthier Approach: Think in terms of giving a 100% effort to your marriage when needed. If both you and your spouse are each giving 100%, then you’ll be in a positive place to handle the extra stress that problems and unforeseen challenges can bring.
Myth 5: Your goal is to have a peaceful marriage with as few disagreements as possible.
Over the years, I have heard many couples brag that they never fight and hardly ever argue. When this happens, I know that most likely one spouse or the other has been trying to keep accumulated anger, frustration, and resentment in an emotional “closet” with the door shut. This only works for so long and then the closet door bursts open and all the heightened emotions spill out to contaminate the marital relationship.
The goal is not to have a marriage with no arguments or disagreements. The goal is to find a way to disagree without being disagreeable or disrespectful to each other. When anger and resentments are buried in a relationship, the passion is also snuffed out in the emotional debris.
Some lukewarm marriages could benefit from more open disagreements, heated arguments, and strongly stated viewpoints and opinions. At least then the partners would be both engaged in the relationship instead of letting it silently die off.
Alex had been brought up in a family that avoided confrontations. He decided early on in his marriage to Traci that he didn’t want a marriage filled with conflict and arguments. When Traci felt strongly about something, Alex would generally just go along with her to keep the peace, even if he didn’t really want to.
He hesitated to rock the boat by disagreeing and almost always hid his true feelings from Traci. Their friends all remarked about how well Alex and Traci always got along, and Alex and Traci enjoyed telling others that they never argued or disagreed. The marriage was calm and peaceful, but the passion gradually faded away and left a feeling of blandness and emptiness behind.
Healthier Approach: Make a commitment to express your real opinions, needs, and preferences to your spouse. If you are afraid of your spouse’s anger, schedule a counseling session to discuss your concerns with a therapist present to mediate. You may need to develop a set of “fair fighting rules” with the help of the counselor in order to feel safe in speaking up at home.
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Successful Manifesting - The Secret Ideas...
We have been conditioned to consume the world in an effort to attain this illusory perfection,and it shows in our day-to-day lives. Simply put, we work at places we don't like in order to buy stuff we don't need.
We have forgotten that the source of happiness lies within the center of our spiritual being, and we have replaced it by seeking it in the material world. We have things backward.
What is the Manifesting Process?
Where does it initially come from: Desire? Wanting something? Bettering ourselves?
Take a good look at your life right now. Where do you live? What does your furniture look like? What kind of car do you drive? How much money is in your bank account? Look in the mirror – how do you look? Everything has been manifested one way or the other, by you. You may not be aware of how far-reaching your ability to manifest truly is in all its aspects.
Have My Thoughts Created All This?
Yes! Whatever you see in the physical universe has been created in one way or the other by your thoughts. Your thoughts are the blueprints of what later becomes physical form.
Everything starts with an idea, which is a thought. That's why it is crucial to pay attention to your thoughts.
If you worry about getting all those bills paid you will create more of the same thing, simply because you have thought about it. Your thoughts are nothing more than frequencies or vibrations that resonate with similar vibrations already existing. Place two guitars side by side and pluck a string on one. The string on the other guitar will start vibrating, even though you haven't touched it. It is the principle of resonance. Fascinating, isn't it?
You want to be able to control your thoughts, given that they create your reality. If you can control your thoughts, you can control what you want to create and manifest in your life. If you can't control your thoughts, things will manifest that seem random and unconnected to you – and they are – they are actually manifested from other people.
Your consciousness is like a radio station. You can send signals and programs and you can receive signals and programs. Sometimes you may want to receive and sometimes you may want to send. To know when to send and when to receive is one of the greatest success factors in life. It is the balance of knowing when to create and when to experience. You cannot constantly create for you would miss out on the other part of the experience. On the other hand, if you only experience things, you will never get to manifest anything.
Another way of putting it would be responsive responsibility – the ability to consciously respond. In every moment, you have a choice about what you want to do, and what you want to decide. If you don't exercise this power nothing happens in your life – at least not what you want. This brings us to the next topic.
The Importance Of Knowing What You Want From Life
Most people never think about what they want in their lives. They live without this knowledge or forethought and become victims of their own circumstance. Work is just about a job – to get by financially. Life becomes a series of issues like choosing to live somewhere because the rent is cheap, never understanding how to be in relationships or becoming ineffectual parents. The list goes on and on. Within yourself there is a craving for more. Is it substance, contact or a deeper understanding of life? No one has ever introduced such people to the concept of endless possibility. “As a man thinketh, so is he.”
A major key to manifesting the life you want is to ponder what you want out of life. What is it that you want to do with your life? A good exercise is to take a piece of paper and write down the answers to the following questions:
What is my deepest desire?
What would I like to accomplish in my life?
What would I like to accomplish this year?
Where would I like to be in 5 years?
Where would I like to be in 20 years?
What am I good at?
Look into all areas of your life:
Your profession
Your relationships
Your health
Your financial situation
How you have fun (how you spend your holidays)
Do you Spend Enough Time with your Goals – Are they Important?
After you have written down a list of what you would like to accomplish in your life, you will want to set priorities for them. Just take the list that you wrote down and give each topic 1-5 points. 1 being the least important to 5 points being the most. Now you have priorities in your life, which will help you decide where you want your attention to be.
It is a simple equation: understand simply that you want to spend most of your time with the number one topic on your list. Spend slightly less time with the number two entry on your list – and so on for numbers three through five. There is no need to slice up the day in time slots. Simply by doing this exercise you are programming your consciousness to spend time according to your list.
Let's assume you would like to find your life partner in the next two years, and that this is your primary goal, at the very top of your list. When you check your thought process at the end of the day and you find that you have not spent most of your free time addressing this goal, you have a misalignment, and you may never reach your goal. When this happens simply recognize it and adjust accordingly.
Working all day only to sit on your couch and watch TV will not get you where you want to be. You must take action to manifest your goal(s), for example:
Take action by signing up for a dance class
Book a weekend seminar on a subject that intrigues you
Attend a workshop that focuses on your interest
Spend time at places where you can meet people
If your goal happens to be that you want to be a millionaire within five years, and you are spending only five minutes of your time each day to accomplish this goal, then don't be surprised if your financial situation never changes.
There is another important aspect of manifestation here that requires consistency. Let's assume you have made your priority list and everything on your list feels good so far. It is very important that you are in emotional agreement with your goals – they must feel right to you. If you simply create goals in your mind that are not of value to you then you will find yourself having a hard time working to achieve them.
What happens with most people's scenario is that they have a goal that feels right for them, then they start working on their goal. In other words, they put their attention into making their goal a reality. A few weeks pass by and nothing happens. Now discouragement sets in and the goal somehow seems unreachable, the motivation is down to zero.
This is the point where you must feel your discouragement. Don't just put it away or ignore it – face it as completely and consciously as you can. This might be unpleasant for you but it will help you get closer to your goal. How is this? When you want to change your reality you obviously need to do something differently than what you have done before. So this is where the reality check comes in. You look around and cannot see any change. But changes may have already occurred in your thinking and behavior. You may have set things in motion that you cannot yet see.
Find Your Unique Strengths, Gifts And Talents
Most successful people have something in common. They love what they do. You won't find rich and successful people that hate what they do.
Each of us is unique, having specific talents and gifts. It is something innately inherent in all of us, a combination of energy patterns leading towards a natural affinity for certain subjects in life, certain ways of being. One of the most important tasks in your life is to find these talents and gifts within yourself, which is a recognition of what you have brought into your creation.
Let's assume that you are given a hammer without having any knowledge of how to utilize this tool. Stay with me now – this is a gross over-simplification of an extremely important aspect of your reality. You are given nails but you use the wrong end of the hammer. You can't see any success with accomplishing your task of hammering in the nails. You have the tool but not the knowledge of its correct application. Similarly, how can we manage our lives without understanding the many tools available and their practical applications? You might even have a moment of enlightened clarity. We can all relate to finally understanding something that had been tripping us up. Wouldn’t it be nice if someone had shared the necessary information beforehand – before experiencing frustration and possibly giving up?
Recognizing your own strengths and talents is absolutely essential for any further steps you take in life. Writing them down should make them more real to you if you’re not used to thinking about them. If you know your distinctive strengths and talents you should be able to write them down in a few sentences without having to think too much about the process.
If you are not sure, or you really have no clue, here are a few tips that will help you identify them:
Think back to your childhood:
What were the toys you liked to play with?
What were you interested in?
What did you like best to play?
What presents did you wish to receive for your birthday and Christmas?
What did you dream of becoming in your future?
Ask your Closest Friends
Tell your friends that you want to re-evaluate your talents and you need an honest opinion from them. Make sure to ask your friends to be 100% honest with you. Allow them to take a fresh look at you and ask them to forget all about what you are doing professionally – keep it on a personal level.
What do your friends think you are good at?
What do they think your talents are?
What do they recommend what you should do with your life?
Ask Yourself a Few Questions
Take a notebook and read through these questions. Make sure you open up your mind and allow these questions to solidify in your imagination. Don't take these questions too seriously, play with them and also write down what comes up spontaneously – these are sometimes the most profound answers.
These questions are designed to expand your consciousness out of the normal mindset. The best solutions are always found outside the normal realm of thinking. Remember, your mind is part of the collective consciousness; therefore you have access to all information. Your mind is connected to the infinite source of all existence.
What would you do if you had enough money not to work ever again?
What were your dreams when you were younger?
What do you think is impossible for you to do?
What would you do if you won five million dollars?
What would you do if this was the last day of your life?
What would you do if you couldn't fail?
What are your strengths and talents?
Do you have a wish but don't know how to fulfill it?
What do you admire most about others?
What would your ideal lifestyle look like?
What does success mean for you?
What makes you really happy?
Is there anything that needs to be invented?
What does a perfect day look like for you?
What would you do if there were no restrictions?
What really excites you?
What would you be honored and recognized for?
Where do you see your life in ten years?
If you were immortal, what would you do with your life?
What needs to change to make this a better world?
What would you do if you were Superman?
What are you proud of?
What would you do if you were the President?
What would you like to accomplish this year?
What would you do differently if you could start over again?
Finding your strengths and talents is like first building the basement for your house. It is your foundation. It is like the soil from which a strong and beautiful tree can grow. It provides you with your unique potential. It is the unique gift that came with you when you were born. You are being asked here to nourish it until it is strong enough to guide you in your life.
Don't waste your time chasing someone else's dream or goal or anything that is not given to you that you cannot claim first as your own. Use the talents you came in with or the ones you developed along the way. You may become very good at something but you will never find true, lasting happiness with it if you can’t own it completely. You will always have tocompensate with something else so as not to feel the void in your life – a void that is only filled by your own inherent strengths and talents. If you don't know your talents and strengths, make getting to know them your major task in life.
Use whatever tools you feel comfortable with. Try to find a way to dig deeper into yourself.
This is your life – and you’re worth it! If you feel comfortable with astrology schedule a private session with a professional astrologer. You will be amazed how much you can find out about yourself in just an hour.
Finding The Courage To Step Out Of Normality
If you have found your talents and strengths, you know you are unique. It gives you confidence and a sense of stability. That doesn't mean that you go around telling people how different you are. It is just a recognition of what you brought into this lifetime.
Make a commitment to follow these gifts and talents; let them guide you. Don't let anybody tell you what you should do. Don't let anybody tell you that you are not good enough to fulfill your dreams. Identify as much as possible with your dreams, as they are the surest guides in your life. They will show you where to go.
There is no guarantee at all that everything will be fine and easy when you follow your dreams. It may be the opposite. You may find yourself alone in the world with the feeling that everyone else is doing the right thing but you.
Your gifts, talents and strengths are your ultimate potential, but they can also be your pitfalls. You will need to cultivate them over time. In the beginning they are also your weaknesses and you will be tested by them. The more you withstand them, the stronger they grow inside you, until they become your life force.
Contemplate: What if you have chosen your gifts in your last life?
A little story about this: A soul is ready to incarnate to earth and gets sent to the 'feelings' supermarket where it can chose what dominant feeling it wants to carry into its incarnation. The soul enters the store and finds that all feelings except one are sold out for today! Only one is left and it is labeled Betrayal. As a soul, all feelings are equal and there are no judgments or preferences. The soul takes Betrayal and enters its life on earth to experience this feeling in all its variations.
What's the point, you may ask? Knowing your purpose, even if it involves so-called negative experience at a fundamental level, will free you from becoming a victim. You will have the understanding that you chose this. Therefore, you can grow with the experience and ultimately get the teaching you need to learn, the understanding and wisdom you desired to attain. There are no mistakes, only opportunities. Every single person has a different path on earth. If you understand your path it doesn't matter what it is, and you will not be jealous that others have more – which, after all, are only just different paths. You will have a profound understanding that what you do is exactly the right thing – no matter what it is.
It doesn't matter if you have a small or a big house. It does not matter if you have more or less money than others. Being on your unique path is where you belong; it is the only way toget to your unique dreams.
Attention – The Infinite Source Of Your Potential
Attention is probably the most important gift you possess. The word attention comes from the Latin attendere, which means, "to turn one's mind towards" – to turn one's mind or perhaps one's senses; the act or state of applying the mind to an object of sense or thought.
It is the act of taking possession by the mind, in clear and vivid form, of one of several simultaneously possible objects or trains of thought. It implies withdrawal from some things in order to deal effectively with others.
Our faculty of attention affects us in countless ways. Our very perception of reality is tied closely to where we focus our attention. Only what we pay attention to seems real to us, whereas whatever we ignore – no matter how important it may be – seems to fade intoinsignificance.
Each of us chooses, by our way of attending to things, the universe we inhabit and the people we encounter. But for most of us, this “choice” is unconscious, so it’s not really a choice at all. When we think about who we are, we can’t possibly remember all the things we’ve experienced, all the behaviors and qualities we have exhibited. What comes to mind when we ask “Who am I?” Those things consist of what we have been paying attention to over the years. The same goes for our impressions of other people. The reality that appears to us is not so much what’s out there, as it is those aspects of the world we have focused on.
What we look at may not be what we attend to. It is possible to look in one direction but actually notice changes in another direction. Overt attention is the act of directing our eyes or ears towards a stimulus source. Covert attention is the act of mentally focusing on a particular stimulus. Basically, you can direct your attention towards the outside world or towards the world within. You can observe – attend to – your thoughts!
Mastering and controlling your attention gives you the freedom to choose what happens in your life. There are countless things happening at the same time all over the world, however, as long as your attention is not directed to any of it – nothing really happens for you.
Contemplate: When you close your eyes is the world still there? What evidence do you have to prove it on your own?
This is very important to understand. The more you can control your attention the more you attract only the things in your life that you really want. If you do not pay attention to the crime scene on your television it does not create this reality for you. If you don't pay attention to negative things in your life it will not create that reality. This doesn't mean you should ignore the parts of the world that do not produce peace and happiness for you; it simply means not to give them too much attention. Don't get absorbed in them – decide when enough is enough and move on to something you want your attention to be focused on, for example, the important goals and dreams of your life.
Life is not what you see on TV nor what you hear and read in the news!
An analogy for attention is the faucet in your garden. You open it and see an endless stream of water flowing. Now you connect to it a hose, and with this hose you are able to direct the flow of water anywhere you decide. You may decide to water your rosebush in the back. You take the hose and direct it toward the rosebush and water it. Now, what happens when your hose has holes and leaks? Let's assume for this analogy that your hose is really old and that there are many holes and leaks. The water is our analogy for the free attention you have in life. Taking a close look at the hose reveals that it is leaking in several places, and that the water is missing your rosebush entirely but plenty is flowing down into the earth to nourish the weeds that are dormant and only need a good drink to begin to sprout. If you look at the end of the hose you will notice there is not much water left for the rosebush.
Two things are happening here:
1. Your attention goes somewhere you would rather not have it go and things are happening that you don't want to have happen.
2. Your attention is not focused enough to have an effect on what you do want to accomplish.
Do you see how important it is to train your attention? There are many exercises you can do. One simple method is to simply observe your attention and to speak out loud where it is in the moment. You may do this when you are alone until you get comfortable with yourself. This is a funny exercise and you may find yourself laughing.
Here is what it might look like:
I am thinking about tomorrow . . .
There is a cat next to me . . .
What I am doing here . . . ?
So many thoughts . . .
Am I crazy . . . ?
The carpet is brown . . .
It's dirty too . . .
I should get it cleaned . . .
Ah, just relax . . .
How busy my mind is . . .
What's next . . .
You may find yourself thinking about how crazy this is, but this exercise actually just happens in a short time span of your attention. You may have a few thousand of these each day . . . no wonder some people feel constantly stressed, overwhelmed and light years away from their goals (if they have any)!
Do this every day for about 15 minutes and you will observe that several things happen. First of all, your mind gets calmer but at the same time may also feel exhausted, especially after the first few times you do the exercise. Exhausting your attention is a very interesting occurrence that happens quite often and naturally in your daily life. Training your mind not to exhaust itself will sharpen your focus and free up your attention considerably.
The more free attention you have, the happier you feel and the more power you have to control what is happening in your life.
In Summary
You have infinite attention; however you can exhaust your attention to the degree that there isn't anything left. Be aware of how you use your attention. Learn to deliberately choose where you want to place your attention.
What Absorbs Your Attention?
We need to pay attention to things in our daily lives; everything we do requires that of us. Businesses vie for our attention. The ubiquitous backdrop of advertising that surrounds us is constantly trying to get our attention. The more aware we are of it the more we can deliberately decide not to give our attention away.
The following is a list of the most powerful attention suckers:
Television, especially advertising and news channels
Newspapers
Billboards
Shopping malls
People telling you stories you are not interested in
Arguments
Large crowds
Excessive and loud noises
Self-criticism
Driving on the freeway
Email spam
Junk mail
Contemplate: Where does (your) attention come from?
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Imagination Your Magic Virtual Reality World
The act of imagining is another wonderful ability of your consciousness. Even with open eyes you can imagine springtime in the fields, the fresh scents, the birds chirping, the warmth of the sun. You can even imagine that you are sitting in the grass and feel the wind blowing through your hair. You can imagine touching the soul, letting it rinse through your hands.
You are able to imagine objects that do not exist, and you can imagine that these objects do whatever you decide. They don't have to follow any physical rules. Many inventors have used the power of imagination to think up ideas for new products, machines and improvements.
The most interesting part is that these imaginings, once you have made them, become part of your memory! It's like a virtual world that does not follow any rules that currently exist – it is the ultimate playing field in cyber space.
Imagination is also very powerful in memorizing things that you normally could not remember. Here is a simple example. For now, just read it:
There is a red ball. On the left side of the red ball is a green ball and on the right side of the red ball is a blue ball. Next to the blue ball is a yellow ball and next to the green ball is a white ball. On the left side of the white ball is a black ball and on the right side of the yellow ball is an orange ball.
Now repeat what you just read without looking at it . . .
Without the use of your imagination you probably won't be able to memorize this. Now do it again, but this time you will use the power of your imagination. Just imagine that you are at a billiard table. Read the instructions again, but this time visualize each ball lying on the pool table.
There is a red ball. On the left side of the red ball is a green ball and on the right side of the red ball is a blue ball. Next to the blue ball is a yellow ball and next to the green ball is a white ball. On the left side of the white ball is a black ball and on the right side of the yellow ball is an orange ball.
Okay, now close your eyes and recall the picture of the billiard balls on the pool table. Without reading the instructions again you will probably remember every ball position. By using your imagination you have expanded your brain capacity in terms of how your brain stores information. You have used the left and the right hemisphere of your brain together. One hemisphere is the more logical side the other half is the more artistic side. When both hemispheres work together the brain is able to store the information in its long-term memory. From there it is accessible at any time, even after many years have passed. If you only use one side of your brain the information takes a longer time to get to your long-term memory – usually only effectively by repeating the task. Most of the time the information gets stored only in short-term memory and is no loner available after a day or so.
There are basically only three methods to store information in your long-term memory:
1. Repetition
2. Intensity
3. Using both sides of the brain simultaneously
What Does Imagination have To Do With Manifesting?
If you can imagine it, it will not be difficult to create it. Let's assume you want $20,000 in your bank account by the end of this month. Start using your imagination:
Visualize your bank statement reading your balance is $20,000
Visualize making a withdrawal and you are holding $20,000 in your hand
Visualize how you feel
Visualize bringing the money home and spreading it all over your table
Visualize what you can buy with this money
By doing this process you are already training your mind for the event of claiming $20,000. Your mind will start bringing up other pictures and stories when you do this exercise.
For example the following can happen:
A thought comes up – Ah, how bogus this is!
A thought comes up – I don't believe this will ever happen!
A thought comes up – Why not go for $50,000 or $100,000?
A feeling arises – you feel excited
A feeling arises – you feel unmotivated
A pictures arises – you only see $850 in your bank account
A picture arises – you cannot see a number on your bank statement
These are all uncertainties of the mind that will vanish when you do the exercise several times. Do it often, until you see exactly what you desire as actually happening. Do it until there is no other thought, feeling or picture coming up that is not aligned with your goal.
How to Fire Walk over Chalk
I once participated in a fire walk ritual as part of a weekend self exploration course. The goal for the evening was to walk over a 30-foot long, 190-degree, hot pathway of chalk. I had only to put my hand over the chalk to immediately know “absolutely” that walking on this infernal path would be impossible without instantly and painfully burning my feet.
To prepare for this experience we were told to visualize the walk over the fire and use our imagination to eliminate any obstacles our minds could come up with. Somehow, I ended up visualizing a lava field that I was walking through. It took me four of five virtual walkthroughs until my mind no longer clung to the idea that my feet were burning.
It took me another two or three mental walk-throughs until I felt totally comfortable. In the last visualization I even ended up waking over the fire twice as I could not believe it the first time or two.
Guess what happened on that evening? After watching about seven or eight other people do the walk, it was my turn. I positioned myself at the beginning, calmed my mind and started to walk slowly in little steps over the fire. At the end I couldn't believe what I just did and I walked all the way back over it again!
No burns, nothing! However, I could feel the energy of the fire on my feet. Needless to say, not all the people finished their walks successfully. Some were very badly burned indeed. I will never forget this experience as it helped me tremendously in understanding the power of visualization.
Your Beliefs
Concepts That Create Your Experience
Beliefs are basically concepts that we either make up on our own or that we take over from someone else. The function of believing something is another great ability of your consciousness. The idea of belief that we talk about here has nothing to do with the kind of belief that is usually used in a religious context.
Belief is a built-in function of your consciousness. It is one of the most powerful instruments to shape your reality. It is so powerful that, when adaptively formulated from many people, it can shift mass consciousness and lead to profound changes in our society. It even has the power to shift the collective consciousness of the whole of civilization on this planet.
What is the Purpose of a Belief?
The purpose of a belief is to make an experience. How is this possible? A belief is basically a concept, something that you assume, but actually don't know as a concrete fact. You only know something for sure when you have experienced it. Everything else are concepts that we consider to comprise the basis of our knowledge. Our whole life is built around beliefs.
There are two different ways you can live your life. The first way is to observe nature and then construct a belief around it. This is still currently the way we receive information in school; it is what operates most prevalently in people's lives. The problem with this approach is that it leads to a form of living that convinces us that we are not responsible for anything that happens in our lives. This approach also leads to the idea that we cannot change things in our lives.
The second way is the opposite – you decide what you want to believe and later find the evidence of this belief in nature. Does this sound strange to you? Maybe not, maybe you already have shifted your consciousness into this new way of thinking.
What are the Benefits of Thinking this Way?
You are responsible for what is happening in your life. You could also say that you have created it one way or another. Either you are conscious of being your life’s creator or you are not. A lot of what we actually create happens unconsciously. Another benefit of thinking this way – i.e., consciously – is that you can change what you like to experience by simply changing your beliefs and the concepts around them. Understand how powerful this is! When you live your life as the master of your beliefs you can handle anything because you ultimately know that you have created it. And even if you are not aware, you will at some point accept it.
By the act of believing we form a unique structure in our consciousness, an energy pattern that acts like a blueprint for what we will experience in our life.
Let's look at a practical example to illustrate this point. Just imagine you are at home and your doorbell rings. You open the door and there is a man you have never seen before. He starts telling you his story about having lost his home and his job and how he needs money to survive. He asks you if you can spare a few dollars. During the conversation your consciousness is automatically processing the information. There are probably thousands of things happening in your mind in a fraction of a second. Your mind looks into its memory banks to find similar experiences. A similar experience makes it easy to act on the current situation in the same way. Your mind will also find all kinds of stories that have to do with money. Your mind observes the man and tries to categorize the whole situation.
Is this man trustworthy?
Is this man telling the truth?
Do I want to give him money?
How much money do I want to give?
Finally you have to make up your mind. You have a choice of what to do – you always have a choice. You can simply react to the situation and let your mind tell you what to do, by calling on one of the thoughts that automatically came up to guide you. Or you can deliberately make a choice by either believing his story or not. At this point you have no evidence if his story is true or not. You may not even be interested in his story, or the decision to give him the money.
Reaction Versus Action
A reaction is an unconscious response to a given situation. Your consciousness is not involved and the outcome is random. Most of the time it is an answer that reflects what you have done in the past. It is a choice-less and powerless approach to handling a situation.
An action is a deliberate choice you make. It is a response to a situation that is based on the result of consciously analyzing and contemplating a given situation. It empowers you and moves your life further along the path you have chosen.
Your action and the outcome of this situation are completely separate from and different from the idea of whether you believe him or not. Beliefs are very powerful. One way to determine what beliefs you want to take on is simply by looking for what the reality would be, that this belief would create. Is this belief supporting what I would like to experience or not?
Many of our beliefs are carried forward from our parents, from school, from friends and from news sources like radio and television. You have a choice to make about taking these beliefs on unfiltered, or by evaluating them and either accepting or rejecting them.
You will also experience that it is more important to understand how you believe, than what your belief is. Understanding the process of how you believe gives you tremendous power in your life. You will find that different sources of news are more or less credible to your beliefs.
If your best friend tells you something you may believe it instantly, as you have known your friend for years and, in the past, your friend’s information was always reliable. Getting information from strangers is a totally different story and the level of acceptance may be much lower. Take doctors, for example. Most people willingly adopt the beliefs of their doctors quite thoroughly as they may see their physicians as the ultimate truth givers. If you hold a belief that you “know” to be true, you have assigned that belief the highest level of trustworthiness. However, understand that it is still a belief and not the truth. The truth-asabsolute does not exist, even if you find all the evidence in the world for it. You will discover this in one of the next chapters when we talk about quantum physics.
10 Impeding Beliefs that Prevent You From Getting Rich
At one point in your life, you may ask yourself why other people are so successful with money when you are not. Depending on how closely you look, you will have several answers. Do these sound familiar?
They're just luckier than I am
They have a better education than I do
They were born into a rich family
They are white and have better opportunities than I do
They already had the money to start a business
They already had the money to invest in real estate
They are smarter than I am
They are younger than I am
They look better than I do
They probably work harder than I do
The list probably continues to fill several pages. Money is the topic that generates the most beliefs, followed by the topic of relationship. I once led a seminar where we investigated people's beliefs about money. After only 30 minutes we came up with three full pages!
You may not know this yet, but your beliefs are the blueprint for your reality. If you knew that, would you deliberately create one from the list above? Probably not, because these beliefs are not supportive at all. These beliefs create a reality that leaves you 'playing' the victim, and furthermore, keeps you right where you are. You are not improving your life one bit.
Why are we creating these beliefs in the first place, when we know that they are not constructive at all? The answer lies in the nature of our consciousness. Most of us were told that there is a universe out there and this universe shapes our reality. It is the basic belief that life happens to us. Most of us get these beliefs confirmed several times per day. The result is that our consciousness gets imprinted each day with the same message. The message with the same old belief. Meanwhile, as adults, we are not even aware that our life, 'as it happens' is built around a belief. It becomes a profound reality that we prove to ourselves in each moment.
So how do we get out of this dilemma? We need to take a step back and look at our beliefs. Take a piece of paper and a pencil and write down all the beliefs you have around money. Don't think too much, be spontaneous. When you have run out of your own beliefs, think about what other people's beliefs are about money. Then mark each belief with an 'I' or an 'S' depending if the belief is impeding or supportive. Impeding beliefs do not support creating wealth, supportive beliefs do. Now, look at your list and count each supportive and impeding belief. What is your score? How many impeding beliefs do you have, and how many supportive beliefs do you have?Realize that all the impeding beliefs do not support the creation of fortune. Now, take a new piece of paper, and brainstorm beliefs that will exactly create the wealth you would like to have. When you are done with the list, go over each of your new beliefs and create a mental image. Hold this mental image for at least 10-20 seconds. You may need some practice, but every time you do it, you will get better at it. Do this exercise in a quiet, calm and relaxed environment, as this will help to imprint these beliefs into your consciousness.
Remember, beliefs are the blueprint of what will manifest in your life. With a little training, you will be able to move onto the next stage, which is feeling your beliefs. Feel as if these new beliefs, that foster what you really want to create, have actually been manifested.
How does it feel to be a millionaire?
How does it feel to have abundance in your life?
How does it feel to have more money than you can spend?
How does it feel to give to others?
How does it feel to buy something without having to look at the price?
Whenever you catch yourself thinking or speaking an impeding belief about money, stop what you are doing. Go back to the place in your mind where you recall one of your deliberately created beliefs about money, and connect with it. The more you do this, the more you will train your mind to think in a new way, a way that leads to living an abundant and prosperous life.
Quantum Physics
The New 21st Century Life Paradigm
We are in the midst of one of the most significant paradigm shifts mankind has ever encountered. We are seeing the end of Newton’s mechanical world-view, which is being replaced by a new one that tells us we are nothing more then interconnected consciousness, and that matter is nothing more than a form of energy.
The Age of Newton’s Mechanical Clockwork
For more then two hundred years Newton’s ideas dictated our world view. Newton declared that everything operates mechanically and can be predicted like clockwork. Science in Newton’s view, being nothing more than the act of observing, meant that this world view was easily perpetuated by independent observers all over the world.
In the late 19th century, science entered into the era of subatomic physics, which changed everything. Scientists discovered that the so-called ‘subatomic particles’ were not particles at all. They behaved like particles when they were measured but they traveled like waves.
Quantum theory has changed everything, because what was once a mechanical, external universe has now become a web of intelligence. Science finally admits that the simple act of observing changes the result of any experiment, and by extension, that the observer and the observed are not separate.
What follows from this new understanding is a completely different way of dealing with the world we perceive. Our old model of an objective world view has to be replaced with a new model that states everything is subjective, the observer influencing the observed.
The Quantum Paradox – The Wave-Particle Duality
Wave-Particle Duality is perhaps the most notable concept of the quantum world; and by extension, it is also the philosophical basis of modern thought. It is the defining characteristic of elementary physical entities, such as electrons, protons, neutrons, atoms, and molecules, which exist on the one hand in states which behave like waves when they are not observed, and on the other hand behave like particles when observed.
The key is in the observation. In its wave-like state, the physical structure is typically extended in space, but then contracts abruptly to localized events or point-like particles when an observation is made.
When unobserved, physical quantum systems behave in wave-like states and only represent tendencies or probabilities of actual events. On the other hand, when an observation is made, the wave-like state changes abruptly, discontinuously, and unpredictably, in a quantum leap.
At the macro level, the process is seemingly ruled by chance alone, and thus there is the potential for a true choice to be made.
Perception and Reality from a Quantum Viewpoint
All that we see, hear, taste, touch, smell and feel has been created from the data received by our sensory organs. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental constructions we assemble from that data.
However real and external they may seem, these constructions are all phenomena within the mind. This simple fact is very hard to grasp; it goes against all our experience. If there is anything about which we feel certain, it is that the world we experience is real. We can see, touch and hear it. It seems undeniable that out there, around us, independent and apart from us, exists as a physical world, utterly real, solid and tangible. But the world of our experience is no more out there than are our dreams. When we dream, we create a reality in which events happen around us, and in which we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. In the dream it all seems very real. But when we awaken we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind.
The same process of reality-generation occurs in waking consciousness. The difference is that now the reality that is created is based on sensory data, and bears a closer relationship to what is taking place in the real world. Nevertheless, however real it may seem, it is not actually, the real world. It is still an image of that world created in the mind.
The Fabric of Reality – Enter the Age of Conscious Science
The current metaparadigm of the nature of reality assumes that space, time, and matter constitute the basic framework of reality and consciousness somehow arises from this reality.
The truth, it now appears, is the very opposite. As far as the reality we experience is concerned – and this, remember, is the only reality we ever know – consciousness is primary.
Time, space, and matter are secondary; they are aspects of an image of reality manifesting in the mind. They exist within consciousness; not the other way around.
If we consider the reality we experience, then we have to accept that in the final analysis, the new physicists are correct:
Consciousness is the essence of everything – everything in the known universe.
It is the medium from which every aspect of our experience manifests. Every form and quality we ever experience in the world is a construction within consciousness.
What is the Process of Manifestation within the Mind?
How is it that consciousness, which seems so non-material, can take on the material forms that we experience? How do space, time, color, sound, texture, substance, and the many other qualities that we associate with the material world, emerge in consciousness?
Whatever we may be conscious of individually, the faculty of consciousness is something we all share. This consciousness is the one truth we cannot deny. It is the absolute certainty of our existence. It is eternal in that it is always there, whatever the contents of our experience.
It is the essence of everything we know. And, since every aspect of our experience is a manifestation in the mind, it is the creator of the world we know.
The qualities of truth, absoluteness, eternity, essence, creation are among those traditionally associated with God. From this perspective, the statement, “I am God” is not so puzzling or deluded after all. Although it might be more accurate to say that, “I AM is God,” or possibly,
“God is consciousness.” The text you have just completed needs to be read and re-read as you acquaint yourself with the material. Be patient and remember to enjoy the journey.
Using the Tools of your Mind to Create Reality
Your attention is the source of the creative process in turning your thoughts into reality. Using your intention builds a constant energy toward the reality you want to create. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and advance along the way until the desired reality is created.
What Is The Law Of Attraction?
The law of attraction basically states that you attract in your life circumstances and events that are similar or identical to what you focus your thoughts and beliefs on. Every thought has a vibrational energy pattern that will resonate with similar objects and events that already exist or are coming into existence. Let's have a practical example to show you how this works. Assume for a moment that you hold the belief that taxes are unnecessary and only create financial problems. What happens is that in your life you will attract circumstances that always feel unpleasant when it comes to the topic of taxes. You may find yourself in a conversation where the topic turns to taxes.
Immediately you will feel a shift in how you feel. You may get emotional or you may get upset and in the conversation you may bring up your belief concerning taxes.
As if that isn't enough, when tax season comes you will become more and more nervous with each passing day. Your mind no longer finds rest and ease and even a brief mention of the word taxes sucks a huge portion of your attention. In reality, you can experience either positive or negative results. After filing taxes you may end up receiving a huge return (positive!). Your tax accountant or tax lawyer may call and tell you that there are problems, and you need to bring in additional documents which you don't have (negative!). How would that scenario play out if you held the belief that taxes are a necessary way to contribute to the betterment of this country? With your tax money more schools can be built and better education can take place within them. You create an attitude where you make enough money to easily pay your taxes each year. You hold a space inside yourself for your tax accountant, and believe that he or she is doing a marvelous job of supporting you getting your taxes done in an easy and effortless manner.
What happens is this, the simple operation of the law of attraction: you will have enough money every year. You will feel good about paying your taxes and they will be done quickly and efficiently. This simply happens because you will attract an outside situation matching your beliefs, attitudes and concepts. Round objects don't fit in square holes! Your energy will always match with similar energy. You will meet people that are on the same wave length that you are. You will attract circumstances in your life that will always match what you think and believe.
A Spiritual Viewpoint Of Free Will
I found the following example on one of the exciting audio books from Fred Alan Wolf. Fred Alan Wolf is a physicist and a spiritual seeker, and has dedicated his whole life to the quest of what consciousness truly is.
Imagine that you are sitting on a red elephant. The red elephant symbolizes your higher self, your source, or whatever word you have for it. As you direct your life you tap the elephant on his right ear and the elephant goes right. If you tap him on the left ear he goes left. This is our basic understanding of free will. I decide this and then this happens. It all works fine as long as the elephant goes in the direction you want him to go. However the problem and frustration starts when the elephant turns in another direction – not the one you have chosen.
Here we find ourselves in the realm of hypothesis and speculation:
Maybe you did something wrong
Maybe God doesn't want you to take this path
Maybe you are just not strong enough
The rationalizations we come up with are endless. What happens on a spiritual level of understanding is the following: The elephant – your higher self – sends you a signal he wants to go right. That could be your intuition, for example. You receive this signal and you align with it and tick the elephant’s right ear. Whenever you hear the signal and you follow it, you are absolutely in alignment with your higher self, your source, your infinite power
Is this still free will you may ask? Yes, it is, as it is still you who is giving yourself the signal. This is very profound and powerful concept when you truly understand it. All that it takes to operate your life on this level is to explore your consciousness and understand that it is infinite, that it is the ultimate source of your being.
You are not your mind
You are not your feelings
You are not your body
You are not your thoughts
You are infinite potential; your true essence is beyond space and time. You are everything and nothing at the same time. You were never born and you will never die. You are the spirit that is shared with every other living form on this planet. You have access to anything and everything you wish to have.
The Ultimate Question
Free Will Versus Destiny?
There is a question that is centuries old, still as baffling today as it was when it was first asked. Do we have free will or is everything predetermined?
Many people find their answers somewhere in between these two extremes. They believe that we have free will and also that there is something bigger than who we are, something that operates somehow on a more fundamental level of reality that has the ability to predetermine how we live our lives to a greater or lesser extent. However that still leaves you questioning where you have control and where you do not. The effect of this dilemma is that most people really don't know what they can and cannot create and change in their lives.
It leads ultimately to crazy outcomes like war that are fought in the name of God. When it comes to the issue of control in and of itself, understand that there are three different universes:
The universe of yourself
The universe of others
The universe of the material world
All three have their own rules and the biggest obstacle to success in your life is understanding the rules of each universe. Failure in life always has to with these three universes and the mix up of each of them.
For example, you might want to be more patient with yourself. Of course, the way to handle this is ultimately in your own universe. So you might, for example, start a meditation class or you might contemplate bigger things like the age and the size of the universe. That would shift the perspective of your current level of patience. However, the wrong way would be to put the focus on others, telling them to do things faster or criticizing them for something, which shifts the focus off of you, where it really needs to be.
Another example: Let's say you want people in your neighborhood to be more conscious with their trash and to start recycling their cans and bottles. Here is what you would do when you handle it within your own universe. Every time you see some of your neighbors piling recycling in their normal trash, you tell them how wrong it is and that they should recycle it the way you do. You might even talk with your friends and complain about how unconsciousness these people are and how frustrated you are with them. You see that everything that you do is just a projection of your own universe.
If you want to handle it properly, you’ll need to get into their universe. For example, you could announce a gathering in your neighborhood and provide a powerful presentation about recycling. You could show them where their trash lands; you could show them the impact lots of trash has in nature and you could also show them what happens when trash is recycled.
For example, you could include information about the growing recycling industry in Europeand how it supports the entire region by making the technology and techniques available everywhere.
And last but not least, what happens exactly when you want something to occur in the physical universe and you handle it in the universe of others? Let's assume that you build a house and that you hire a contractor to do it. Soon, you find that things are going horribly wrong. You blame the contractor, but the contractor just ignores you and tells you to shut up or face additional delays or cost overruns. You have no choice but to live with the situation.
When you handle this situation in the right universe you are the one who is ultimately in charge here, not the contractor. The contractor is an outcome of your concepts and beliefs. Instead of blaming him you could go back into your universe and handle the situation from there. You could ask yourself what you may have done to create this situation. You understand that you are 100% responsible for what is happening. You may not have set the right goals, or been too vague about the details. You may have had your priorities and attention somewhere else. Whatever the reasons, there is a possible overall solution that will resolve the situation.
It all comes down to fully recognizing that you are the creator and that no one else can be blamed for your creation. Blaming others is denying taking responsibility as the creator of this situation. It is telling yourself a lie over and over again if you never take such responsibility.
Everything starts in your own universe with your own thoughts. When you get lost take a break and find your way back home to yourself. Reconnect with your true source of power.
Summary
You have free will; however it all comes down to either accepting who you are or denying it. This is the one choice you can truly make from the source of your consciousness. Either you accept the path that you have chosen already or you resist it.
If you accept this path, all the choices you make come from the source of your consciousness and you will know with certainty that it is your higher self telling you what to do. You can say that on that level, you are not making any choices at all, you are just aligning with your path. If you don't accept your past, your choices are made from the ego and do not align with your higher self. Therefore, the choices you make will neither support your self nor will they be good choices for anyone else.
This is the path of isolation that leads many people into depression. It is a path that is cut off from the unlimited life force. Spirit has no opportunity here to nourish and be nourished and to manifest good.
Intention – Aim For Your Goals
Intention refers to what one plans to do or achieve. Intention simply signifies a course of action that one proposes to follow: It is my intention to take a vacation next month. So you could say your attention is charged with a mindset that directs itself towards accomplishing something.
A wonderful book I highly recommend is The Power Of Intention by Wayne Dyer. Dr. Dyer outlines seven essential rules in his book that provide the groundwork for powerful intentions. This book is also available as an audio book as well as in DVD form.
Let's assume that one day you wake up in the morning and you don't have any intentions. What would happen? Absolutely nothing – you probably would stay in bed until you needed to eat something or you may have to go to the bathroom. That means that some outer circumstances, perhaps the biologic processes – which are, after all, bodily intentions – generate your moving. Without intention you would never accomplish anything, not even the simplest task.
You may not be aware of your intentions as you find yourself getting up and out of bed automatically, as you 'want' or 'need' to go to work. So some of your intentions are operating without you being aware of them.
However, in this context we are talking about deliberate intentions. You get up and out of bed and you think and contemplate what you would like to accomplish today. You think about your goals in life and intend to make them happen. Following through on your intentions is a very active process that gives your life a direction. By setting and realigning your intentions you will achieve your goals and fulfill your dreams.
Is Setting a Goal the Same as Having an Intention?
They are similar, but not the same. You can set as many goals as you want, however, if you don't have an intention to achieve any of them – they will never happen. An intention is much more powerful than simply setting a goal in life. Intentions will allow you to reach any goal. A goal is a subject; it is something that is happening in the future. An intention includes this and adds a driving force to it. This driving force is always in the present and will determine the outcome of your action.
How to Make Powerful Intentions
We use intention to guide our attention in a new direction in order to create a new or different reality. For example, maybe you’d like to change your job. Most people start with the intent of having a better job, as the old one is not satisfying anymore. However, trouble may be brewing here already . . .
If you move on from something you don’t like to something you prefer, you may deny your current situation. In order to make successful intentions, it is important to deal with the current situation first, while doing some analytical thinking about it.
Again, the key is to take full responsibility, and to understand that you are the only person responsible for the current circumstances.
Do away with any judgments of your current situation, until you can see it from a neutral perspective. There was a point in your life when it was the perfect decision. Don’t compare the present moment with your past, as you have since had new experiences and gained a more complete perspective that additional experience in this area brings.
This is a common mistake in thinking; it is like a loophole in the mind. You jump from one timeline to another timeline, and then compare the two. This leads to false conclusions. Leave the past behind – don’t reinvent it!
Creativity is never a response from the past; it is always a creative act in the now.
Evaluate your Current Situation
If you look at your current situation without judgment, you are able to see and analyze your life. Only from a neutral standpoint can you make a powerful new decision. This new decision will be based on deliberate intent instead of reacting to circumstance. This is where choice and free will come in.
There is a very interesting scene in one of the old Star Trek movies. The spaceship Enterprise somehow got too close to a black hole and its powerful engines were incapable of escaping the crushing gravity of the black hole.
The whole crew, including Commander James Kirk, were fearfully awaiting their impending deaths. Everyone was focused on what would certainly happen in short order when the Enterprise was sucked into the black hole. Alone of all the crew, Spock stood patiently observing the current situation on the big monitor screen.
Spock voiced his thoughts on the dire situation in one succinct statement: “Fascinating.” McCoy, the ship’s doctor, exploded in nervous anger, “What in the hell is fascinating about the fact that we are all dying in a few moments?” Spock, calmly replies, “The way it will happen.” This perfectly illustrates my point here. We have one person who is observing the current situation without judgment and therefore still has free attention to make choices. All the others are consumed by fear – they are without choice – or choiceless – in the matter.
Of course, the story has a happy ending as Spock finds a way to save the Enterprise and the ship’s complement of 400 crew. Spock was the only one capable of this valiant act as he was able to analyze the current situation from a neutral point of view. From the perspective of being neutral, you can ask yourself the following questions:
What do I like about my current job?
What do I want to improve in my next job?
What would be the perfect job for me?
What would I like to feel from my next job?
What am I good at?
In which areas is this job supporting me to live my full potential?
Write down the answers to these questions, and start to write out a few full sentences based on your answers. Include all the positive points. Make these sentences as precise as possible. An example statement might read something like this: “My next job is exciting; it flows with me, makes me happy, and I am able to learn and grow from it. When you are done, read it out loud. If you have trouble saying the sentence, or even memorizing it, then it is not ready. Simply take a few moments and refine it.
Overcoming Pitfalls when Creating Intentions
Intentions are formed in your conscious mind; however, it’s your subconscious that receives these commands and creates the necessary opportunities in your life. In other words, your conscious mind decides on this new opportunity – creating a new reality.
Use only positive words
Include a time frame
Remove negations
Be precise
Here is a simple test. Don’t think about a blue elephant! What happened? You thought about the blue elephant, you may have even imagined it. The subconscious does not work analytically. It cannot understand words like ‘don’t’ or ‘not.’ It works mostly in images, sounds, and smells.
You want to avoid the use of any negative words in your intentions. Always formulate your intentions in such a way that they reflect the outcome of what you’d like to create.
Example of how not to do it:
- I don’t want to have so much responsibility.
Better example:
- In my new job I feel comfortable with my responsibilities.
Include a Time Frame:
There is a difference between creating in your own universe and creating in the physical world. When you create inside yourself there is no time involved – your consciousness is timeless!
For example, if you’d like to change your attitude toward your boss, you don’t need to set a time frame. You can simply create the intention: “I appreciate my boss,” or, “I value my boss’s viewpoints and beliefs.” It will work instantly if there is no other belief or intention in its way.
When you deal with the physical world, setting a time frame becomes important. The physical world works within time and space. If you build a new house, first you have a plan, and then you move dirt, assemble wood, install plumbing and move furniture until the house is complete. It takes time and effort.
So if you make your intention but you leave out the time frame – your intention becomes doubtful. For example: “I am working in my dream job.” Well, you would probably say right away: “I’m not!” It sounds more like an affirmation than an intention. Include the time frame, and this example turns into: “I am working in my dream job, six months from now.”
Pay attention to any reactions you have when you formulate your intention. Your mind may interfere and tell you: “No way, I will never get this,” or “this is impossible.” If you encounter these instant judgments, formulate your intentions differently, so that they feel more do-able.
Sometimes you may want to break a big intention into smaller pieces. For example: “In two weeks I am a millionaire,” is an intention that may not work for most people. However, an intention like: “Every day I have more money to spend,” may get you there sooner than you think.
New Year’s Intentions Versus Birthday Intentions
Many people make New Year’s resolutions, which is a good thing. However, making them on your birthday is more efficient.
Why is this? A new year is an artificial point of time, it just means that one year passed, and is not related to you in any way – it’s impersonal. If you make your new year’s resolution on your birthday, it is personal, because on this specific day the sun is in the same position as it was when you were born. Astrologers call this point a sun-sun conjunction. It is a very powerful point in time, as a new individual cycle starts for you.
Why Your Attitude Makes A Difference
A reporter was sent to a stone cutter to interview three different men doing exactly the same job – hammering stones. Asking about how they liked their job, the first one answers, “I really hate it. I barely make the money to survive. I am doing the same stupid thing over and over. My back hurts, I am getting old, and I absolutely see no sense in what I am doing.”
The second man responds to the same question, saying, “It's not bad, I have a decent house and a nice car. I love my family; however, I am not fulfilled with what I am doing.”
The third man replies, “I love my job. I am absolutely thrilled and I appreciate everyday I can be here. I think my work is wonderful as all these stones I am hamming will later be part of the material to build a wonderful cathedral. A place where many people can worship God and a place where many people will find the strength to overcome struggles and difficulties in their lives. I cannot imagine doing something different – I feel happy every moment.”
Remember – all these people are doing the same exact work. It is only their attitude that makes a completely different person out of them. Not only are these people all different, they each will be affecting the other people around them by their attitudes.
It's the basic principle of looking at a half full or half empty glass. It is your viewpoint of life that determines you attitude. If you think everything has to be given to you for free, you are setting yourself up for big disappointment. You will spend a lot of time being angry because you’ll soon discover that nothing comes to you for free. Focusing on who you are and what you have will shift your attitude and make you more humble. Recognize what you do have in life. Go out in nature and recognize the beauty of life. Pick a flower, watch and feel the grace of it.
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Conclusion – The Art Of Manifesting
Let's bring everything together you have learned so far. Know that fulfilling your dreams is the purpose of your life. It is exercising your strengths and talents to contribute to the greater good of all. Know that fulfilling your dreams is your destiny. Never ever give anybody permission to take this powerful force away from you.
Decide what you want in life. This may change during your life, so evaluate
your goals and dreams every few years. Align with your long-term goals and adjust your short-term goals.
Know your strengths, talents and gifts. Also know your weak areas, exercise your strengths and get help from others for your weak areas. Have you thought about a mentor?
Understand that you have unlimited attention. Decide where you want to put your attention. Limit the areas where you waste your attention. Increase the areas where you want results.
Use your imagination as a virtual playing field. Imagine what it feels like to have reached your goals. Imagine what it feels like when you live your dreams.
Contemplate your beliefs. Your beliefs create reality. Replace non-supporting beliefs with beliefs that support your goals and dreams.
Craft powerful intentions that state your life dreams.
Understand that what you hold in your consciousness attracts similar circumstances in your life.
Use a Vision Board to Manifest Your Dreams
Buy a large cork board and start pinning up your dreams. Use words and pictures that show exactly what you want in life. Put this board in a place where you can see it every day. Spend some time every day and let any imaginative thoughts and feelings flow through you
How to Set Your Goals And Dreams on Autopilot
Don’t you feel it is time for you to step forward and take full control of your potential? There is now a remarkably simple solution for manifesting your goals, dreams and desires in life. A software program that supports and guides you in manifesting exactly what you want.
If you work on the computer you can use the Dream Manifestation Wizard™, software specially developed to help you manifest your dreams. It is like having an electronic dream catcher.
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The Ultimate Life Fulfillment
Serving Others
If you cultivate your strengths and talents you will find new ways to use them in your life. Your work situation will reflect and include them more frequently. Ultimately you are serving others, and serving others is the ultimate purpose and the greatest achievement in life.
By serving others you will feel abundance and prosperity in your life without any effort. It will come to you as a result of doing the right thing.
Serving others will shift your focus beyond yourself. It will give your life meaning and a sense that there are worthwhile things greater than yourself. It will free you from thinking about yourself and by serving others you will find true lasting happiness. You will understand that serving others is your life purpose and you are doing it because you cannot do otherwise. It is a natural process. It is the ultimate purpose of consciousness itself. Consciousness strives to evolve, to constantly improve things. Ultimately, this evolved consciousness will achieve the greater goal of being part of an enlightened planetary civilization where we all live in harmony with each other.
It does not matter how far you as an individual, or our current civilization as a whole are away from this goal. Time does not hold any meaning for consciousness. Just think about how far we have come, thus far. If we were to imagine the age of this earth as a day, humans will have just appeared in the world within the few seconds, and we have just started to explore consciousness within the last second.
We have forgotten that the source of happiness lies within the center of our spiritual being, and we have replaced it by seeking it in the material world. We have things backward.
What is the Manifesting Process?
Where does it initially come from: Desire? Wanting something? Bettering ourselves?
Take a good look at your life right now. Where do you live? What does your furniture look like? What kind of car do you drive? How much money is in your bank account? Look in the mirror – how do you look? Everything has been manifested one way or the other, by you. You may not be aware of how far-reaching your ability to manifest truly is in all its aspects.
Have My Thoughts Created All This?
Yes! Whatever you see in the physical universe has been created in one way or the other by your thoughts. Your thoughts are the blueprints of what later becomes physical form.
Everything starts with an idea, which is a thought. That's why it is crucial to pay attention to your thoughts.
If you worry about getting all those bills paid you will create more of the same thing, simply because you have thought about it. Your thoughts are nothing more than frequencies or vibrations that resonate with similar vibrations already existing. Place two guitars side by side and pluck a string on one. The string on the other guitar will start vibrating, even though you haven't touched it. It is the principle of resonance. Fascinating, isn't it?
You want to be able to control your thoughts, given that they create your reality. If you can control your thoughts, you can control what you want to create and manifest in your life. If you can't control your thoughts, things will manifest that seem random and unconnected to you – and they are – they are actually manifested from other people.
Your consciousness is like a radio station. You can send signals and programs and you can receive signals and programs. Sometimes you may want to receive and sometimes you may want to send. To know when to send and when to receive is one of the greatest success factors in life. It is the balance of knowing when to create and when to experience. You cannot constantly create for you would miss out on the other part of the experience. On the other hand, if you only experience things, you will never get to manifest anything.
Another way of putting it would be responsive responsibility – the ability to consciously respond. In every moment, you have a choice about what you want to do, and what you want to decide. If you don't exercise this power nothing happens in your life – at least not what you want. This brings us to the next topic.
The Importance Of Knowing What You Want From Life
Most people never think about what they want in their lives. They live without this knowledge or forethought and become victims of their own circumstance. Work is just about a job – to get by financially. Life becomes a series of issues like choosing to live somewhere because the rent is cheap, never understanding how to be in relationships or becoming ineffectual parents. The list goes on and on. Within yourself there is a craving for more. Is it substance, contact or a deeper understanding of life? No one has ever introduced such people to the concept of endless possibility. “As a man thinketh, so is he.”
A major key to manifesting the life you want is to ponder what you want out of life. What is it that you want to do with your life? A good exercise is to take a piece of paper and write down the answers to the following questions:
What is my deepest desire?
What would I like to accomplish in my life?
What would I like to accomplish this year?
Where would I like to be in 5 years?
Where would I like to be in 20 years?
What am I good at?
Look into all areas of your life:
Your profession
Your relationships
Your health
Your financial situation
How you have fun (how you spend your holidays)
Do you Spend Enough Time with your Goals – Are they Important?
After you have written down a list of what you would like to accomplish in your life, you will want to set priorities for them. Just take the list that you wrote down and give each topic 1-5 points. 1 being the least important to 5 points being the most. Now you have priorities in your life, which will help you decide where you want your attention to be.
It is a simple equation: understand simply that you want to spend most of your time with the number one topic on your list. Spend slightly less time with the number two entry on your list – and so on for numbers three through five. There is no need to slice up the day in time slots. Simply by doing this exercise you are programming your consciousness to spend time according to your list.
Let's assume you would like to find your life partner in the next two years, and that this is your primary goal, at the very top of your list. When you check your thought process at the end of the day and you find that you have not spent most of your free time addressing this goal, you have a misalignment, and you may never reach your goal. When this happens simply recognize it and adjust accordingly.
Working all day only to sit on your couch and watch TV will not get you where you want to be. You must take action to manifest your goal(s), for example:
Take action by signing up for a dance class
Book a weekend seminar on a subject that intrigues you
Attend a workshop that focuses on your interest
Spend time at places where you can meet people
If your goal happens to be that you want to be a millionaire within five years, and you are spending only five minutes of your time each day to accomplish this goal, then don't be surprised if your financial situation never changes.
There is another important aspect of manifestation here that requires consistency. Let's assume you have made your priority list and everything on your list feels good so far. It is very important that you are in emotional agreement with your goals – they must feel right to you. If you simply create goals in your mind that are not of value to you then you will find yourself having a hard time working to achieve them.
What happens with most people's scenario is that they have a goal that feels right for them, then they start working on their goal. In other words, they put their attention into making their goal a reality. A few weeks pass by and nothing happens. Now discouragement sets in and the goal somehow seems unreachable, the motivation is down to zero.
This is the point where you must feel your discouragement. Don't just put it away or ignore it – face it as completely and consciously as you can. This might be unpleasant for you but it will help you get closer to your goal. How is this? When you want to change your reality you obviously need to do something differently than what you have done before. So this is where the reality check comes in. You look around and cannot see any change. But changes may have already occurred in your thinking and behavior. You may have set things in motion that you cannot yet see.
Find Your Unique Strengths, Gifts And Talents
Most successful people have something in common. They love what they do. You won't find rich and successful people that hate what they do.
Each of us is unique, having specific talents and gifts. It is something innately inherent in all of us, a combination of energy patterns leading towards a natural affinity for certain subjects in life, certain ways of being. One of the most important tasks in your life is to find these talents and gifts within yourself, which is a recognition of what you have brought into your creation.
Let's assume that you are given a hammer without having any knowledge of how to utilize this tool. Stay with me now – this is a gross over-simplification of an extremely important aspect of your reality. You are given nails but you use the wrong end of the hammer. You can't see any success with accomplishing your task of hammering in the nails. You have the tool but not the knowledge of its correct application. Similarly, how can we manage our lives without understanding the many tools available and their practical applications? You might even have a moment of enlightened clarity. We can all relate to finally understanding something that had been tripping us up. Wouldn’t it be nice if someone had shared the necessary information beforehand – before experiencing frustration and possibly giving up?
Recognizing your own strengths and talents is absolutely essential for any further steps you take in life. Writing them down should make them more real to you if you’re not used to thinking about them. If you know your distinctive strengths and talents you should be able to write them down in a few sentences without having to think too much about the process.
If you are not sure, or you really have no clue, here are a few tips that will help you identify them:
Think back to your childhood:
What were the toys you liked to play with?
What were you interested in?
What did you like best to play?
What presents did you wish to receive for your birthday and Christmas?
What did you dream of becoming in your future?
Ask your Closest Friends
Tell your friends that you want to re-evaluate your talents and you need an honest opinion from them. Make sure to ask your friends to be 100% honest with you. Allow them to take a fresh look at you and ask them to forget all about what you are doing professionally – keep it on a personal level.
What do your friends think you are good at?
What do they think your talents are?
What do they recommend what you should do with your life?
Ask Yourself a Few Questions
Take a notebook and read through these questions. Make sure you open up your mind and allow these questions to solidify in your imagination. Don't take these questions too seriously, play with them and also write down what comes up spontaneously – these are sometimes the most profound answers.
These questions are designed to expand your consciousness out of the normal mindset. The best solutions are always found outside the normal realm of thinking. Remember, your mind is part of the collective consciousness; therefore you have access to all information. Your mind is connected to the infinite source of all existence.
What would you do if you had enough money not to work ever again?
What were your dreams when you were younger?
What do you think is impossible for you to do?
What would you do if you won five million dollars?
What would you do if this was the last day of your life?
What would you do if you couldn't fail?
What are your strengths and talents?
Do you have a wish but don't know how to fulfill it?
What do you admire most about others?
What would your ideal lifestyle look like?
What does success mean for you?
What makes you really happy?
Is there anything that needs to be invented?
What does a perfect day look like for you?
What would you do if there were no restrictions?
What really excites you?
What would you be honored and recognized for?
Where do you see your life in ten years?
If you were immortal, what would you do with your life?
What needs to change to make this a better world?
What would you do if you were Superman?
What are you proud of?
What would you do if you were the President?
What would you like to accomplish this year?
What would you do differently if you could start over again?
Finding your strengths and talents is like first building the basement for your house. It is your foundation. It is like the soil from which a strong and beautiful tree can grow. It provides you with your unique potential. It is the unique gift that came with you when you were born. You are being asked here to nourish it until it is strong enough to guide you in your life.
Don't waste your time chasing someone else's dream or goal or anything that is not given to you that you cannot claim first as your own. Use the talents you came in with or the ones you developed along the way. You may become very good at something but you will never find true, lasting happiness with it if you can’t own it completely. You will always have tocompensate with something else so as not to feel the void in your life – a void that is only filled by your own inherent strengths and talents. If you don't know your talents and strengths, make getting to know them your major task in life.
Use whatever tools you feel comfortable with. Try to find a way to dig deeper into yourself.
This is your life – and you’re worth it! If you feel comfortable with astrology schedule a private session with a professional astrologer. You will be amazed how much you can find out about yourself in just an hour.
Finding The Courage To Step Out Of Normality
If you have found your talents and strengths, you know you are unique. It gives you confidence and a sense of stability. That doesn't mean that you go around telling people how different you are. It is just a recognition of what you brought into this lifetime.
Make a commitment to follow these gifts and talents; let them guide you. Don't let anybody tell you what you should do. Don't let anybody tell you that you are not good enough to fulfill your dreams. Identify as much as possible with your dreams, as they are the surest guides in your life. They will show you where to go.
There is no guarantee at all that everything will be fine and easy when you follow your dreams. It may be the opposite. You may find yourself alone in the world with the feeling that everyone else is doing the right thing but you.
Your gifts, talents and strengths are your ultimate potential, but they can also be your pitfalls. You will need to cultivate them over time. In the beginning they are also your weaknesses and you will be tested by them. The more you withstand them, the stronger they grow inside you, until they become your life force.
Contemplate: What if you have chosen your gifts in your last life?
A little story about this: A soul is ready to incarnate to earth and gets sent to the 'feelings' supermarket where it can chose what dominant feeling it wants to carry into its incarnation. The soul enters the store and finds that all feelings except one are sold out for today! Only one is left and it is labeled Betrayal. As a soul, all feelings are equal and there are no judgments or preferences. The soul takes Betrayal and enters its life on earth to experience this feeling in all its variations.
What's the point, you may ask? Knowing your purpose, even if it involves so-called negative experience at a fundamental level, will free you from becoming a victim. You will have the understanding that you chose this. Therefore, you can grow with the experience and ultimately get the teaching you need to learn, the understanding and wisdom you desired to attain. There are no mistakes, only opportunities. Every single person has a different path on earth. If you understand your path it doesn't matter what it is, and you will not be jealous that others have more – which, after all, are only just different paths. You will have a profound understanding that what you do is exactly the right thing – no matter what it is.
It doesn't matter if you have a small or a big house. It does not matter if you have more or less money than others. Being on your unique path is where you belong; it is the only way toget to your unique dreams.
Attention – The Infinite Source Of Your Potential
Attention is probably the most important gift you possess. The word attention comes from the Latin attendere, which means, "to turn one's mind towards" – to turn one's mind or perhaps one's senses; the act or state of applying the mind to an object of sense or thought.
It is the act of taking possession by the mind, in clear and vivid form, of one of several simultaneously possible objects or trains of thought. It implies withdrawal from some things in order to deal effectively with others.
Our faculty of attention affects us in countless ways. Our very perception of reality is tied closely to where we focus our attention. Only what we pay attention to seems real to us, whereas whatever we ignore – no matter how important it may be – seems to fade intoinsignificance.
Each of us chooses, by our way of attending to things, the universe we inhabit and the people we encounter. But for most of us, this “choice” is unconscious, so it’s not really a choice at all. When we think about who we are, we can’t possibly remember all the things we’ve experienced, all the behaviors and qualities we have exhibited. What comes to mind when we ask “Who am I?” Those things consist of what we have been paying attention to over the years. The same goes for our impressions of other people. The reality that appears to us is not so much what’s out there, as it is those aspects of the world we have focused on.
What we look at may not be what we attend to. It is possible to look in one direction but actually notice changes in another direction. Overt attention is the act of directing our eyes or ears towards a stimulus source. Covert attention is the act of mentally focusing on a particular stimulus. Basically, you can direct your attention towards the outside world or towards the world within. You can observe – attend to – your thoughts!
Mastering and controlling your attention gives you the freedom to choose what happens in your life. There are countless things happening at the same time all over the world, however, as long as your attention is not directed to any of it – nothing really happens for you.
Contemplate: When you close your eyes is the world still there? What evidence do you have to prove it on your own?
This is very important to understand. The more you can control your attention the more you attract only the things in your life that you really want. If you do not pay attention to the crime scene on your television it does not create this reality for you. If you don't pay attention to negative things in your life it will not create that reality. This doesn't mean you should ignore the parts of the world that do not produce peace and happiness for you; it simply means not to give them too much attention. Don't get absorbed in them – decide when enough is enough and move on to something you want your attention to be focused on, for example, the important goals and dreams of your life.
Life is not what you see on TV nor what you hear and read in the news!
An analogy for attention is the faucet in your garden. You open it and see an endless stream of water flowing. Now you connect to it a hose, and with this hose you are able to direct the flow of water anywhere you decide. You may decide to water your rosebush in the back. You take the hose and direct it toward the rosebush and water it. Now, what happens when your hose has holes and leaks? Let's assume for this analogy that your hose is really old and that there are many holes and leaks. The water is our analogy for the free attention you have in life. Taking a close look at the hose reveals that it is leaking in several places, and that the water is missing your rosebush entirely but plenty is flowing down into the earth to nourish the weeds that are dormant and only need a good drink to begin to sprout. If you look at the end of the hose you will notice there is not much water left for the rosebush.
Two things are happening here:
1. Your attention goes somewhere you would rather not have it go and things are happening that you don't want to have happen.
2. Your attention is not focused enough to have an effect on what you do want to accomplish.
Do you see how important it is to train your attention? There are many exercises you can do. One simple method is to simply observe your attention and to speak out loud where it is in the moment. You may do this when you are alone until you get comfortable with yourself. This is a funny exercise and you may find yourself laughing.
Here is what it might look like:
I am thinking about tomorrow . . .
There is a cat next to me . . .
What I am doing here . . . ?
So many thoughts . . .
Am I crazy . . . ?
The carpet is brown . . .
It's dirty too . . .
I should get it cleaned . . .
Ah, just relax . . .
How busy my mind is . . .
What's next . . .
You may find yourself thinking about how crazy this is, but this exercise actually just happens in a short time span of your attention. You may have a few thousand of these each day . . . no wonder some people feel constantly stressed, overwhelmed and light years away from their goals (if they have any)!
Do this every day for about 15 minutes and you will observe that several things happen. First of all, your mind gets calmer but at the same time may also feel exhausted, especially after the first few times you do the exercise. Exhausting your attention is a very interesting occurrence that happens quite often and naturally in your daily life. Training your mind not to exhaust itself will sharpen your focus and free up your attention considerably.
The more free attention you have, the happier you feel and the more power you have to control what is happening in your life.
In Summary
You have infinite attention; however you can exhaust your attention to the degree that there isn't anything left. Be aware of how you use your attention. Learn to deliberately choose where you want to place your attention.
What Absorbs Your Attention?
We need to pay attention to things in our daily lives; everything we do requires that of us. Businesses vie for our attention. The ubiquitous backdrop of advertising that surrounds us is constantly trying to get our attention. The more aware we are of it the more we can deliberately decide not to give our attention away.
The following is a list of the most powerful attention suckers:
Television, especially advertising and news channels
Newspapers
Billboards
Shopping malls
People telling you stories you are not interested in
Arguments
Large crowds
Excessive and loud noises
Self-criticism
Driving on the freeway
Email spam
Junk mail
Contemplate: Where does (your) attention come from?
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Imagination Your Magic Virtual Reality World
The act of imagining is another wonderful ability of your consciousness. Even with open eyes you can imagine springtime in the fields, the fresh scents, the birds chirping, the warmth of the sun. You can even imagine that you are sitting in the grass and feel the wind blowing through your hair. You can imagine touching the soul, letting it rinse through your hands.
You are able to imagine objects that do not exist, and you can imagine that these objects do whatever you decide. They don't have to follow any physical rules. Many inventors have used the power of imagination to think up ideas for new products, machines and improvements.
The most interesting part is that these imaginings, once you have made them, become part of your memory! It's like a virtual world that does not follow any rules that currently exist – it is the ultimate playing field in cyber space.
Imagination is also very powerful in memorizing things that you normally could not remember. Here is a simple example. For now, just read it:
There is a red ball. On the left side of the red ball is a green ball and on the right side of the red ball is a blue ball. Next to the blue ball is a yellow ball and next to the green ball is a white ball. On the left side of the white ball is a black ball and on the right side of the yellow ball is an orange ball.
Now repeat what you just read without looking at it . . .
Without the use of your imagination you probably won't be able to memorize this. Now do it again, but this time you will use the power of your imagination. Just imagine that you are at a billiard table. Read the instructions again, but this time visualize each ball lying on the pool table.
There is a red ball. On the left side of the red ball is a green ball and on the right side of the red ball is a blue ball. Next to the blue ball is a yellow ball and next to the green ball is a white ball. On the left side of the white ball is a black ball and on the right side of the yellow ball is an orange ball.
Okay, now close your eyes and recall the picture of the billiard balls on the pool table. Without reading the instructions again you will probably remember every ball position. By using your imagination you have expanded your brain capacity in terms of how your brain stores information. You have used the left and the right hemisphere of your brain together. One hemisphere is the more logical side the other half is the more artistic side. When both hemispheres work together the brain is able to store the information in its long-term memory. From there it is accessible at any time, even after many years have passed. If you only use one side of your brain the information takes a longer time to get to your long-term memory – usually only effectively by repeating the task. Most of the time the information gets stored only in short-term memory and is no loner available after a day or so.
There are basically only three methods to store information in your long-term memory:
1. Repetition
2. Intensity
3. Using both sides of the brain simultaneously
What Does Imagination have To Do With Manifesting?
If you can imagine it, it will not be difficult to create it. Let's assume you want $20,000 in your bank account by the end of this month. Start using your imagination:
Visualize your bank statement reading your balance is $20,000
Visualize making a withdrawal and you are holding $20,000 in your hand
Visualize how you feel
Visualize bringing the money home and spreading it all over your table
Visualize what you can buy with this money
By doing this process you are already training your mind for the event of claiming $20,000. Your mind will start bringing up other pictures and stories when you do this exercise.
For example the following can happen:
A thought comes up – Ah, how bogus this is!
A thought comes up – I don't believe this will ever happen!
A thought comes up – Why not go for $50,000 or $100,000?
A feeling arises – you feel excited
A feeling arises – you feel unmotivated
A pictures arises – you only see $850 in your bank account
A picture arises – you cannot see a number on your bank statement
These are all uncertainties of the mind that will vanish when you do the exercise several times. Do it often, until you see exactly what you desire as actually happening. Do it until there is no other thought, feeling or picture coming up that is not aligned with your goal.
How to Fire Walk over Chalk
I once participated in a fire walk ritual as part of a weekend self exploration course. The goal for the evening was to walk over a 30-foot long, 190-degree, hot pathway of chalk. I had only to put my hand over the chalk to immediately know “absolutely” that walking on this infernal path would be impossible without instantly and painfully burning my feet.
To prepare for this experience we were told to visualize the walk over the fire and use our imagination to eliminate any obstacles our minds could come up with. Somehow, I ended up visualizing a lava field that I was walking through. It took me four of five virtual walkthroughs until my mind no longer clung to the idea that my feet were burning.
It took me another two or three mental walk-throughs until I felt totally comfortable. In the last visualization I even ended up waking over the fire twice as I could not believe it the first time or two.
Guess what happened on that evening? After watching about seven or eight other people do the walk, it was my turn. I positioned myself at the beginning, calmed my mind and started to walk slowly in little steps over the fire. At the end I couldn't believe what I just did and I walked all the way back over it again!
No burns, nothing! However, I could feel the energy of the fire on my feet. Needless to say, not all the people finished their walks successfully. Some were very badly burned indeed. I will never forget this experience as it helped me tremendously in understanding the power of visualization.
Your Beliefs
Concepts That Create Your Experience
Beliefs are basically concepts that we either make up on our own or that we take over from someone else. The function of believing something is another great ability of your consciousness. The idea of belief that we talk about here has nothing to do with the kind of belief that is usually used in a religious context.
Belief is a built-in function of your consciousness. It is one of the most powerful instruments to shape your reality. It is so powerful that, when adaptively formulated from many people, it can shift mass consciousness and lead to profound changes in our society. It even has the power to shift the collective consciousness of the whole of civilization on this planet.
What is the Purpose of a Belief?
The purpose of a belief is to make an experience. How is this possible? A belief is basically a concept, something that you assume, but actually don't know as a concrete fact. You only know something for sure when you have experienced it. Everything else are concepts that we consider to comprise the basis of our knowledge. Our whole life is built around beliefs.
There are two different ways you can live your life. The first way is to observe nature and then construct a belief around it. This is still currently the way we receive information in school; it is what operates most prevalently in people's lives. The problem with this approach is that it leads to a form of living that convinces us that we are not responsible for anything that happens in our lives. This approach also leads to the idea that we cannot change things in our lives.
The second way is the opposite – you decide what you want to believe and later find the evidence of this belief in nature. Does this sound strange to you? Maybe not, maybe you already have shifted your consciousness into this new way of thinking.
What are the Benefits of Thinking this Way?
You are responsible for what is happening in your life. You could also say that you have created it one way or another. Either you are conscious of being your life’s creator or you are not. A lot of what we actually create happens unconsciously. Another benefit of thinking this way – i.e., consciously – is that you can change what you like to experience by simply changing your beliefs and the concepts around them. Understand how powerful this is! When you live your life as the master of your beliefs you can handle anything because you ultimately know that you have created it. And even if you are not aware, you will at some point accept it.
By the act of believing we form a unique structure in our consciousness, an energy pattern that acts like a blueprint for what we will experience in our life.
Let's look at a practical example to illustrate this point. Just imagine you are at home and your doorbell rings. You open the door and there is a man you have never seen before. He starts telling you his story about having lost his home and his job and how he needs money to survive. He asks you if you can spare a few dollars. During the conversation your consciousness is automatically processing the information. There are probably thousands of things happening in your mind in a fraction of a second. Your mind looks into its memory banks to find similar experiences. A similar experience makes it easy to act on the current situation in the same way. Your mind will also find all kinds of stories that have to do with money. Your mind observes the man and tries to categorize the whole situation.
Is this man trustworthy?
Is this man telling the truth?
Do I want to give him money?
How much money do I want to give?
Finally you have to make up your mind. You have a choice of what to do – you always have a choice. You can simply react to the situation and let your mind tell you what to do, by calling on one of the thoughts that automatically came up to guide you. Or you can deliberately make a choice by either believing his story or not. At this point you have no evidence if his story is true or not. You may not even be interested in his story, or the decision to give him the money.
Reaction Versus Action
A reaction is an unconscious response to a given situation. Your consciousness is not involved and the outcome is random. Most of the time it is an answer that reflects what you have done in the past. It is a choice-less and powerless approach to handling a situation.
An action is a deliberate choice you make. It is a response to a situation that is based on the result of consciously analyzing and contemplating a given situation. It empowers you and moves your life further along the path you have chosen.
Your action and the outcome of this situation are completely separate from and different from the idea of whether you believe him or not. Beliefs are very powerful. One way to determine what beliefs you want to take on is simply by looking for what the reality would be, that this belief would create. Is this belief supporting what I would like to experience or not?
Many of our beliefs are carried forward from our parents, from school, from friends and from news sources like radio and television. You have a choice to make about taking these beliefs on unfiltered, or by evaluating them and either accepting or rejecting them.
You will also experience that it is more important to understand how you believe, than what your belief is. Understanding the process of how you believe gives you tremendous power in your life. You will find that different sources of news are more or less credible to your beliefs.
If your best friend tells you something you may believe it instantly, as you have known your friend for years and, in the past, your friend’s information was always reliable. Getting information from strangers is a totally different story and the level of acceptance may be much lower. Take doctors, for example. Most people willingly adopt the beliefs of their doctors quite thoroughly as they may see their physicians as the ultimate truth givers. If you hold a belief that you “know” to be true, you have assigned that belief the highest level of trustworthiness. However, understand that it is still a belief and not the truth. The truth-asabsolute does not exist, even if you find all the evidence in the world for it. You will discover this in one of the next chapters when we talk about quantum physics.
10 Impeding Beliefs that Prevent You From Getting Rich
At one point in your life, you may ask yourself why other people are so successful with money when you are not. Depending on how closely you look, you will have several answers. Do these sound familiar?
They're just luckier than I am
They have a better education than I do
They were born into a rich family
They are white and have better opportunities than I do
They already had the money to start a business
They already had the money to invest in real estate
They are smarter than I am
They are younger than I am
They look better than I do
They probably work harder than I do
The list probably continues to fill several pages. Money is the topic that generates the most beliefs, followed by the topic of relationship. I once led a seminar where we investigated people's beliefs about money. After only 30 minutes we came up with three full pages!
You may not know this yet, but your beliefs are the blueprint for your reality. If you knew that, would you deliberately create one from the list above? Probably not, because these beliefs are not supportive at all. These beliefs create a reality that leaves you 'playing' the victim, and furthermore, keeps you right where you are. You are not improving your life one bit.
Why are we creating these beliefs in the first place, when we know that they are not constructive at all? The answer lies in the nature of our consciousness. Most of us were told that there is a universe out there and this universe shapes our reality. It is the basic belief that life happens to us. Most of us get these beliefs confirmed several times per day. The result is that our consciousness gets imprinted each day with the same message. The message with the same old belief. Meanwhile, as adults, we are not even aware that our life, 'as it happens' is built around a belief. It becomes a profound reality that we prove to ourselves in each moment.
So how do we get out of this dilemma? We need to take a step back and look at our beliefs. Take a piece of paper and a pencil and write down all the beliefs you have around money. Don't think too much, be spontaneous. When you have run out of your own beliefs, think about what other people's beliefs are about money. Then mark each belief with an 'I' or an 'S' depending if the belief is impeding or supportive. Impeding beliefs do not support creating wealth, supportive beliefs do. Now, look at your list and count each supportive and impeding belief. What is your score? How many impeding beliefs do you have, and how many supportive beliefs do you have?Realize that all the impeding beliefs do not support the creation of fortune. Now, take a new piece of paper, and brainstorm beliefs that will exactly create the wealth you would like to have. When you are done with the list, go over each of your new beliefs and create a mental image. Hold this mental image for at least 10-20 seconds. You may need some practice, but every time you do it, you will get better at it. Do this exercise in a quiet, calm and relaxed environment, as this will help to imprint these beliefs into your consciousness.
Remember, beliefs are the blueprint of what will manifest in your life. With a little training, you will be able to move onto the next stage, which is feeling your beliefs. Feel as if these new beliefs, that foster what you really want to create, have actually been manifested.
How does it feel to be a millionaire?
How does it feel to have abundance in your life?
How does it feel to have more money than you can spend?
How does it feel to give to others?
How does it feel to buy something without having to look at the price?
Whenever you catch yourself thinking or speaking an impeding belief about money, stop what you are doing. Go back to the place in your mind where you recall one of your deliberately created beliefs about money, and connect with it. The more you do this, the more you will train your mind to think in a new way, a way that leads to living an abundant and prosperous life.
Quantum Physics
The New 21st Century Life Paradigm
We are in the midst of one of the most significant paradigm shifts mankind has ever encountered. We are seeing the end of Newton’s mechanical world-view, which is being replaced by a new one that tells us we are nothing more then interconnected consciousness, and that matter is nothing more than a form of energy.
The Age of Newton’s Mechanical Clockwork
For more then two hundred years Newton’s ideas dictated our world view. Newton declared that everything operates mechanically and can be predicted like clockwork. Science in Newton’s view, being nothing more than the act of observing, meant that this world view was easily perpetuated by independent observers all over the world.
In the late 19th century, science entered into the era of subatomic physics, which changed everything. Scientists discovered that the so-called ‘subatomic particles’ were not particles at all. They behaved like particles when they were measured but they traveled like waves.
Quantum theory has changed everything, because what was once a mechanical, external universe has now become a web of intelligence. Science finally admits that the simple act of observing changes the result of any experiment, and by extension, that the observer and the observed are not separate.
What follows from this new understanding is a completely different way of dealing with the world we perceive. Our old model of an objective world view has to be replaced with a new model that states everything is subjective, the observer influencing the observed.
The Quantum Paradox – The Wave-Particle Duality
Wave-Particle Duality is perhaps the most notable concept of the quantum world; and by extension, it is also the philosophical basis of modern thought. It is the defining characteristic of elementary physical entities, such as electrons, protons, neutrons, atoms, and molecules, which exist on the one hand in states which behave like waves when they are not observed, and on the other hand behave like particles when observed.
The key is in the observation. In its wave-like state, the physical structure is typically extended in space, but then contracts abruptly to localized events or point-like particles when an observation is made.
When unobserved, physical quantum systems behave in wave-like states and only represent tendencies or probabilities of actual events. On the other hand, when an observation is made, the wave-like state changes abruptly, discontinuously, and unpredictably, in a quantum leap.
At the macro level, the process is seemingly ruled by chance alone, and thus there is the potential for a true choice to be made.
Perception and Reality from a Quantum Viewpoint
All that we see, hear, taste, touch, smell and feel has been created from the data received by our sensory organs. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental constructions we assemble from that data.
However real and external they may seem, these constructions are all phenomena within the mind. This simple fact is very hard to grasp; it goes against all our experience. If there is anything about which we feel certain, it is that the world we experience is real. We can see, touch and hear it. It seems undeniable that out there, around us, independent and apart from us, exists as a physical world, utterly real, solid and tangible. But the world of our experience is no more out there than are our dreams. When we dream, we create a reality in which events happen around us, and in which we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. In the dream it all seems very real. But when we awaken we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind.
The same process of reality-generation occurs in waking consciousness. The difference is that now the reality that is created is based on sensory data, and bears a closer relationship to what is taking place in the real world. Nevertheless, however real it may seem, it is not actually, the real world. It is still an image of that world created in the mind.
The Fabric of Reality – Enter the Age of Conscious Science
The current metaparadigm of the nature of reality assumes that space, time, and matter constitute the basic framework of reality and consciousness somehow arises from this reality.
The truth, it now appears, is the very opposite. As far as the reality we experience is concerned – and this, remember, is the only reality we ever know – consciousness is primary.
Time, space, and matter are secondary; they are aspects of an image of reality manifesting in the mind. They exist within consciousness; not the other way around.
If we consider the reality we experience, then we have to accept that in the final analysis, the new physicists are correct:
Consciousness is the essence of everything – everything in the known universe.
It is the medium from which every aspect of our experience manifests. Every form and quality we ever experience in the world is a construction within consciousness.
What is the Process of Manifestation within the Mind?
How is it that consciousness, which seems so non-material, can take on the material forms that we experience? How do space, time, color, sound, texture, substance, and the many other qualities that we associate with the material world, emerge in consciousness?
Whatever we may be conscious of individually, the faculty of consciousness is something we all share. This consciousness is the one truth we cannot deny. It is the absolute certainty of our existence. It is eternal in that it is always there, whatever the contents of our experience.
It is the essence of everything we know. And, since every aspect of our experience is a manifestation in the mind, it is the creator of the world we know.
The qualities of truth, absoluteness, eternity, essence, creation are among those traditionally associated with God. From this perspective, the statement, “I am God” is not so puzzling or deluded after all. Although it might be more accurate to say that, “I AM is God,” or possibly,
“God is consciousness.” The text you have just completed needs to be read and re-read as you acquaint yourself with the material. Be patient and remember to enjoy the journey.
Using the Tools of your Mind to Create Reality
Your attention is the source of the creative process in turning your thoughts into reality. Using your intention builds a constant energy toward the reality you want to create. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and advance along the way until the desired reality is created.
What Is The Law Of Attraction?
The law of attraction basically states that you attract in your life circumstances and events that are similar or identical to what you focus your thoughts and beliefs on. Every thought has a vibrational energy pattern that will resonate with similar objects and events that already exist or are coming into existence. Let's have a practical example to show you how this works. Assume for a moment that you hold the belief that taxes are unnecessary and only create financial problems. What happens is that in your life you will attract circumstances that always feel unpleasant when it comes to the topic of taxes. You may find yourself in a conversation where the topic turns to taxes.
Immediately you will feel a shift in how you feel. You may get emotional or you may get upset and in the conversation you may bring up your belief concerning taxes.
As if that isn't enough, when tax season comes you will become more and more nervous with each passing day. Your mind no longer finds rest and ease and even a brief mention of the word taxes sucks a huge portion of your attention. In reality, you can experience either positive or negative results. After filing taxes you may end up receiving a huge return (positive!). Your tax accountant or tax lawyer may call and tell you that there are problems, and you need to bring in additional documents which you don't have (negative!). How would that scenario play out if you held the belief that taxes are a necessary way to contribute to the betterment of this country? With your tax money more schools can be built and better education can take place within them. You create an attitude where you make enough money to easily pay your taxes each year. You hold a space inside yourself for your tax accountant, and believe that he or she is doing a marvelous job of supporting you getting your taxes done in an easy and effortless manner.
What happens is this, the simple operation of the law of attraction: you will have enough money every year. You will feel good about paying your taxes and they will be done quickly and efficiently. This simply happens because you will attract an outside situation matching your beliefs, attitudes and concepts. Round objects don't fit in square holes! Your energy will always match with similar energy. You will meet people that are on the same wave length that you are. You will attract circumstances in your life that will always match what you think and believe.
A Spiritual Viewpoint Of Free Will
I found the following example on one of the exciting audio books from Fred Alan Wolf. Fred Alan Wolf is a physicist and a spiritual seeker, and has dedicated his whole life to the quest of what consciousness truly is.
Imagine that you are sitting on a red elephant. The red elephant symbolizes your higher self, your source, or whatever word you have for it. As you direct your life you tap the elephant on his right ear and the elephant goes right. If you tap him on the left ear he goes left. This is our basic understanding of free will. I decide this and then this happens. It all works fine as long as the elephant goes in the direction you want him to go. However the problem and frustration starts when the elephant turns in another direction – not the one you have chosen.
Here we find ourselves in the realm of hypothesis and speculation:
Maybe you did something wrong
Maybe God doesn't want you to take this path
Maybe you are just not strong enough
The rationalizations we come up with are endless. What happens on a spiritual level of understanding is the following: The elephant – your higher self – sends you a signal he wants to go right. That could be your intuition, for example. You receive this signal and you align with it and tick the elephant’s right ear. Whenever you hear the signal and you follow it, you are absolutely in alignment with your higher self, your source, your infinite power
Is this still free will you may ask? Yes, it is, as it is still you who is giving yourself the signal. This is very profound and powerful concept when you truly understand it. All that it takes to operate your life on this level is to explore your consciousness and understand that it is infinite, that it is the ultimate source of your being.
You are not your mind
You are not your feelings
You are not your body
You are not your thoughts
You are infinite potential; your true essence is beyond space and time. You are everything and nothing at the same time. You were never born and you will never die. You are the spirit that is shared with every other living form on this planet. You have access to anything and everything you wish to have.
The Ultimate Question
Free Will Versus Destiny?
There is a question that is centuries old, still as baffling today as it was when it was first asked. Do we have free will or is everything predetermined?
Many people find their answers somewhere in between these two extremes. They believe that we have free will and also that there is something bigger than who we are, something that operates somehow on a more fundamental level of reality that has the ability to predetermine how we live our lives to a greater or lesser extent. However that still leaves you questioning where you have control and where you do not. The effect of this dilemma is that most people really don't know what they can and cannot create and change in their lives.
It leads ultimately to crazy outcomes like war that are fought in the name of God. When it comes to the issue of control in and of itself, understand that there are three different universes:
The universe of yourself
The universe of others
The universe of the material world
All three have their own rules and the biggest obstacle to success in your life is understanding the rules of each universe. Failure in life always has to with these three universes and the mix up of each of them.
For example, you might want to be more patient with yourself. Of course, the way to handle this is ultimately in your own universe. So you might, for example, start a meditation class or you might contemplate bigger things like the age and the size of the universe. That would shift the perspective of your current level of patience. However, the wrong way would be to put the focus on others, telling them to do things faster or criticizing them for something, which shifts the focus off of you, where it really needs to be.
Another example: Let's say you want people in your neighborhood to be more conscious with their trash and to start recycling their cans and bottles. Here is what you would do when you handle it within your own universe. Every time you see some of your neighbors piling recycling in their normal trash, you tell them how wrong it is and that they should recycle it the way you do. You might even talk with your friends and complain about how unconsciousness these people are and how frustrated you are with them. You see that everything that you do is just a projection of your own universe.
If you want to handle it properly, you’ll need to get into their universe. For example, you could announce a gathering in your neighborhood and provide a powerful presentation about recycling. You could show them where their trash lands; you could show them the impact lots of trash has in nature and you could also show them what happens when trash is recycled.
For example, you could include information about the growing recycling industry in Europeand how it supports the entire region by making the technology and techniques available everywhere.
And last but not least, what happens exactly when you want something to occur in the physical universe and you handle it in the universe of others? Let's assume that you build a house and that you hire a contractor to do it. Soon, you find that things are going horribly wrong. You blame the contractor, but the contractor just ignores you and tells you to shut up or face additional delays or cost overruns. You have no choice but to live with the situation.
When you handle this situation in the right universe you are the one who is ultimately in charge here, not the contractor. The contractor is an outcome of your concepts and beliefs. Instead of blaming him you could go back into your universe and handle the situation from there. You could ask yourself what you may have done to create this situation. You understand that you are 100% responsible for what is happening. You may not have set the right goals, or been too vague about the details. You may have had your priorities and attention somewhere else. Whatever the reasons, there is a possible overall solution that will resolve the situation.
It all comes down to fully recognizing that you are the creator and that no one else can be blamed for your creation. Blaming others is denying taking responsibility as the creator of this situation. It is telling yourself a lie over and over again if you never take such responsibility.
Everything starts in your own universe with your own thoughts. When you get lost take a break and find your way back home to yourself. Reconnect with your true source of power.
Summary
You have free will; however it all comes down to either accepting who you are or denying it. This is the one choice you can truly make from the source of your consciousness. Either you accept the path that you have chosen already or you resist it.
If you accept this path, all the choices you make come from the source of your consciousness and you will know with certainty that it is your higher self telling you what to do. You can say that on that level, you are not making any choices at all, you are just aligning with your path. If you don't accept your past, your choices are made from the ego and do not align with your higher self. Therefore, the choices you make will neither support your self nor will they be good choices for anyone else.
This is the path of isolation that leads many people into depression. It is a path that is cut off from the unlimited life force. Spirit has no opportunity here to nourish and be nourished and to manifest good.
Intention – Aim For Your Goals
Intention refers to what one plans to do or achieve. Intention simply signifies a course of action that one proposes to follow: It is my intention to take a vacation next month. So you could say your attention is charged with a mindset that directs itself towards accomplishing something.
A wonderful book I highly recommend is The Power Of Intention by Wayne Dyer. Dr. Dyer outlines seven essential rules in his book that provide the groundwork for powerful intentions. This book is also available as an audio book as well as in DVD form.
Let's assume that one day you wake up in the morning and you don't have any intentions. What would happen? Absolutely nothing – you probably would stay in bed until you needed to eat something or you may have to go to the bathroom. That means that some outer circumstances, perhaps the biologic processes – which are, after all, bodily intentions – generate your moving. Without intention you would never accomplish anything, not even the simplest task.
You may not be aware of your intentions as you find yourself getting up and out of bed automatically, as you 'want' or 'need' to go to work. So some of your intentions are operating without you being aware of them.
However, in this context we are talking about deliberate intentions. You get up and out of bed and you think and contemplate what you would like to accomplish today. You think about your goals in life and intend to make them happen. Following through on your intentions is a very active process that gives your life a direction. By setting and realigning your intentions you will achieve your goals and fulfill your dreams.
Is Setting a Goal the Same as Having an Intention?
They are similar, but not the same. You can set as many goals as you want, however, if you don't have an intention to achieve any of them – they will never happen. An intention is much more powerful than simply setting a goal in life. Intentions will allow you to reach any goal. A goal is a subject; it is something that is happening in the future. An intention includes this and adds a driving force to it. This driving force is always in the present and will determine the outcome of your action.
How to Make Powerful Intentions
We use intention to guide our attention in a new direction in order to create a new or different reality. For example, maybe you’d like to change your job. Most people start with the intent of having a better job, as the old one is not satisfying anymore. However, trouble may be brewing here already . . .
If you move on from something you don’t like to something you prefer, you may deny your current situation. In order to make successful intentions, it is important to deal with the current situation first, while doing some analytical thinking about it.
Again, the key is to take full responsibility, and to understand that you are the only person responsible for the current circumstances.
Do away with any judgments of your current situation, until you can see it from a neutral perspective. There was a point in your life when it was the perfect decision. Don’t compare the present moment with your past, as you have since had new experiences and gained a more complete perspective that additional experience in this area brings.
This is a common mistake in thinking; it is like a loophole in the mind. You jump from one timeline to another timeline, and then compare the two. This leads to false conclusions. Leave the past behind – don’t reinvent it!
Creativity is never a response from the past; it is always a creative act in the now.
Evaluate your Current Situation
If you look at your current situation without judgment, you are able to see and analyze your life. Only from a neutral standpoint can you make a powerful new decision. This new decision will be based on deliberate intent instead of reacting to circumstance. This is where choice and free will come in.
There is a very interesting scene in one of the old Star Trek movies. The spaceship Enterprise somehow got too close to a black hole and its powerful engines were incapable of escaping the crushing gravity of the black hole.
The whole crew, including Commander James Kirk, were fearfully awaiting their impending deaths. Everyone was focused on what would certainly happen in short order when the Enterprise was sucked into the black hole. Alone of all the crew, Spock stood patiently observing the current situation on the big monitor screen.
Spock voiced his thoughts on the dire situation in one succinct statement: “Fascinating.” McCoy, the ship’s doctor, exploded in nervous anger, “What in the hell is fascinating about the fact that we are all dying in a few moments?” Spock, calmly replies, “The way it will happen.” This perfectly illustrates my point here. We have one person who is observing the current situation without judgment and therefore still has free attention to make choices. All the others are consumed by fear – they are without choice – or choiceless – in the matter.
Of course, the story has a happy ending as Spock finds a way to save the Enterprise and the ship’s complement of 400 crew. Spock was the only one capable of this valiant act as he was able to analyze the current situation from a neutral point of view. From the perspective of being neutral, you can ask yourself the following questions:
What do I like about my current job?
What do I want to improve in my next job?
What would be the perfect job for me?
What would I like to feel from my next job?
What am I good at?
In which areas is this job supporting me to live my full potential?
Write down the answers to these questions, and start to write out a few full sentences based on your answers. Include all the positive points. Make these sentences as precise as possible. An example statement might read something like this: “My next job is exciting; it flows with me, makes me happy, and I am able to learn and grow from it. When you are done, read it out loud. If you have trouble saying the sentence, or even memorizing it, then it is not ready. Simply take a few moments and refine it.
Overcoming Pitfalls when Creating Intentions
Intentions are formed in your conscious mind; however, it’s your subconscious that receives these commands and creates the necessary opportunities in your life. In other words, your conscious mind decides on this new opportunity – creating a new reality.
Use only positive words
Include a time frame
Remove negations
Be precise
Here is a simple test. Don’t think about a blue elephant! What happened? You thought about the blue elephant, you may have even imagined it. The subconscious does not work analytically. It cannot understand words like ‘don’t’ or ‘not.’ It works mostly in images, sounds, and smells.
You want to avoid the use of any negative words in your intentions. Always formulate your intentions in such a way that they reflect the outcome of what you’d like to create.
Example of how not to do it:
- I don’t want to have so much responsibility.
Better example:
- In my new job I feel comfortable with my responsibilities.
Include a Time Frame:
There is a difference between creating in your own universe and creating in the physical world. When you create inside yourself there is no time involved – your consciousness is timeless!
For example, if you’d like to change your attitude toward your boss, you don’t need to set a time frame. You can simply create the intention: “I appreciate my boss,” or, “I value my boss’s viewpoints and beliefs.” It will work instantly if there is no other belief or intention in its way.
When you deal with the physical world, setting a time frame becomes important. The physical world works within time and space. If you build a new house, first you have a plan, and then you move dirt, assemble wood, install plumbing and move furniture until the house is complete. It takes time and effort.
So if you make your intention but you leave out the time frame – your intention becomes doubtful. For example: “I am working in my dream job.” Well, you would probably say right away: “I’m not!” It sounds more like an affirmation than an intention. Include the time frame, and this example turns into: “I am working in my dream job, six months from now.”
Pay attention to any reactions you have when you formulate your intention. Your mind may interfere and tell you: “No way, I will never get this,” or “this is impossible.” If you encounter these instant judgments, formulate your intentions differently, so that they feel more do-able.
Sometimes you may want to break a big intention into smaller pieces. For example: “In two weeks I am a millionaire,” is an intention that may not work for most people. However, an intention like: “Every day I have more money to spend,” may get you there sooner than you think.
New Year’s Intentions Versus Birthday Intentions
Many people make New Year’s resolutions, which is a good thing. However, making them on your birthday is more efficient.
Why is this? A new year is an artificial point of time, it just means that one year passed, and is not related to you in any way – it’s impersonal. If you make your new year’s resolution on your birthday, it is personal, because on this specific day the sun is in the same position as it was when you were born. Astrologers call this point a sun-sun conjunction. It is a very powerful point in time, as a new individual cycle starts for you.
Why Your Attitude Makes A Difference
A reporter was sent to a stone cutter to interview three different men doing exactly the same job – hammering stones. Asking about how they liked their job, the first one answers, “I really hate it. I barely make the money to survive. I am doing the same stupid thing over and over. My back hurts, I am getting old, and I absolutely see no sense in what I am doing.”
The second man responds to the same question, saying, “It's not bad, I have a decent house and a nice car. I love my family; however, I am not fulfilled with what I am doing.”
The third man replies, “I love my job. I am absolutely thrilled and I appreciate everyday I can be here. I think my work is wonderful as all these stones I am hamming will later be part of the material to build a wonderful cathedral. A place where many people can worship God and a place where many people will find the strength to overcome struggles and difficulties in their lives. I cannot imagine doing something different – I feel happy every moment.”
Remember – all these people are doing the same exact work. It is only their attitude that makes a completely different person out of them. Not only are these people all different, they each will be affecting the other people around them by their attitudes.
It's the basic principle of looking at a half full or half empty glass. It is your viewpoint of life that determines you attitude. If you think everything has to be given to you for free, you are setting yourself up for big disappointment. You will spend a lot of time being angry because you’ll soon discover that nothing comes to you for free. Focusing on who you are and what you have will shift your attitude and make you more humble. Recognize what you do have in life. Go out in nature and recognize the beauty of life. Pick a flower, watch and feel the grace of it.
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Conclusion – The Art Of Manifesting
Let's bring everything together you have learned so far. Know that fulfilling your dreams is the purpose of your life. It is exercising your strengths and talents to contribute to the greater good of all. Know that fulfilling your dreams is your destiny. Never ever give anybody permission to take this powerful force away from you.
Decide what you want in life. This may change during your life, so evaluate
your goals and dreams every few years. Align with your long-term goals and adjust your short-term goals.
Know your strengths, talents and gifts. Also know your weak areas, exercise your strengths and get help from others for your weak areas. Have you thought about a mentor?
Understand that you have unlimited attention. Decide where you want to put your attention. Limit the areas where you waste your attention. Increase the areas where you want results.
Use your imagination as a virtual playing field. Imagine what it feels like to have reached your goals. Imagine what it feels like when you live your dreams.
Contemplate your beliefs. Your beliefs create reality. Replace non-supporting beliefs with beliefs that support your goals and dreams.
Craft powerful intentions that state your life dreams.
Understand that what you hold in your consciousness attracts similar circumstances in your life.
Use a Vision Board to Manifest Your Dreams
Buy a large cork board and start pinning up your dreams. Use words and pictures that show exactly what you want in life. Put this board in a place where you can see it every day. Spend some time every day and let any imaginative thoughts and feelings flow through you
How to Set Your Goals And Dreams on Autopilot
Don’t you feel it is time for you to step forward and take full control of your potential? There is now a remarkably simple solution for manifesting your goals, dreams and desires in life. A software program that supports and guides you in manifesting exactly what you want.
If you work on the computer you can use the Dream Manifestation Wizard™, software specially developed to help you manifest your dreams. It is like having an electronic dream catcher.
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The Ultimate Life Fulfillment
Serving Others
If you cultivate your strengths and talents you will find new ways to use them in your life. Your work situation will reflect and include them more frequently. Ultimately you are serving others, and serving others is the ultimate purpose and the greatest achievement in life.
By serving others you will feel abundance and prosperity in your life without any effort. It will come to you as a result of doing the right thing.
Serving others will shift your focus beyond yourself. It will give your life meaning and a sense that there are worthwhile things greater than yourself. It will free you from thinking about yourself and by serving others you will find true lasting happiness. You will understand that serving others is your life purpose and you are doing it because you cannot do otherwise. It is a natural process. It is the ultimate purpose of consciousness itself. Consciousness strives to evolve, to constantly improve things. Ultimately, this evolved consciousness will achieve the greater goal of being part of an enlightened planetary civilization where we all live in harmony with each other.
It does not matter how far you as an individual, or our current civilization as a whole are away from this goal. Time does not hold any meaning for consciousness. Just think about how far we have come, thus far. If we were to imagine the age of this earth as a day, humans will have just appeared in the world within the few seconds, and we have just started to explore consciousness within the last second.
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